not my type ↬ frerard

25

a/n: filler. if this chapter shows up as republished, it's just editing. i fucked up somebody's name. tip, don't write emotional chapters at 1am.

When Frank was released from the hospital, he was distant. According to Linda, his adoptive mother, he'd gone back to live with her.

Therapy became more intense. He got off of certain meds when it was found out that he was abusing them. Linda put sharp objects on a lockdown.

All he did, every day, was play guitar in his room. He was rusty, he'd been out of practice since high school, but Linda said he was doing great at it.

Gerard dealt with it. That's all he seemed to be doing. Holding up, doing his best. That's all.
He started writing to express his feelings, to escape them. Most of it was about Frank, and how gut wrenching it was when Gerard wondered if the boy missed him.

They officially broke up exactly one week after the hospital released Frank. Well, Frank dumped him. But Gerard was fine, he was holding up. He was always holding up.

That's all he was doing. Holding up.

His weak knees would barely hold him up as we walked. His broken heart would barely hold out enough to keep him alive.
And at the end of each day, when his legs finally gave out and he collapsed under the burning hot spray of the shower, is when he cried.

Gerard never cried in front of anyone- but Mikey. And even that was rare- and he was getting better at keeping his thoughts and feelings to himself.

But with Frank gone... He knew how Frank had felt so long ago.

Abandoned.

Gerard couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. He finally understood how Frank felt. And he thought, I deserve this.

I was never good enough for Frank.

And out of the blue, he told Donna he quit his internship for CN. It was only dragging him down further.

"Well, what are you gonna do now?" She asked. She was shocked.

Gerard shrugged, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets. "I don't know."

"I have an idea," Mikey said. "Shower first, and then think of what to do with your life."

"I shower every night," Gerard snapped.

"It doesn't count if you just sit under the sprayer and cry." Mikey was teasing, but Gerard still took offense since it was 100% true.

"I'd like to see you get a job," Gerard huffed.

"I literally just got a job at the comic store."

"Fuck off."

"Rude."

a/n: bad, ik. have a good day/night/whatever. xøryan