not my type ↬ frerard

11

tw: suicide

Gerard stops in the doorway when he sees Mikey and Pete.

Mikey is just looking at him... He can't place the emotion on Mikey's face. But he has an intense expression.
Pete isn't even looking at him.
There's a piece of paper folded in half, on the counter that separates the dining room and the kitchen.

"Hey..." Gerard tries, closing the door behind himself and tossing his keys in a bowl on the same counter that holds the note; he points to it. "What's that?"

"Have you talked to Frank recently?" Mikey asks.

Gerard pauses, and thinks. The last time he talked to Frank, it didn't go so well.

And everything starts adding up too fast, in Gerard's mind. The note, Mikey's expression, the question, Frank's absence. He panics.

"Not since Tuesday," Gerard says, and it's a little more rushed than he intended, and he's already reaching for the note.

Pete snatches it off of the counter before Gerard can have it.

"What, uh, did you guys talk about? Do you remember?"

"Mikey, why does this matter?" Gerard is frustrated already. "What does that note say?"

"What did you talk about?" Mikey raises his voice, startling Gerard.

"..." Gerard glances at Pete, who still hasn't looked at him. "He was just being pessimistic as usual," He waves a dismissive hand. "He blocked me, before I could ever text him back."

"Did he-" Mikey hesitates, and Gerard could have sworn it was because his voice caught. "Did he threaten to kill himself?"

"I-" Gerard's gut twists, and he feels what can only be described as impending doom. "I don't think so? Not directly, at least... Mikey, what's in the note?"

Pete unfolds the note, and Gerard watches as his eyes skim over it.

He sighs heavily and hands it over to Gerard. "Sit down, and read it."

Gerard glances between Pete and Mikey, nervous. "... Okay."

He's preparing for the worst. He walks into the dining room and pulls a chair away from the table, sitting down.

He finally looks at the note. And he reads it carefully, paying extra attention to every single word, but it still doesn't hit him that this is Frank Iero's suicide note- even though it's clearly stated- until the very end.

This is Frank's last say, his final creation, his goodbye.

And Gerard's throat tightens, and his gut twists again, and he gets lightheaded. He reads it over and over again, by this point he can even clearly imagine Frank speaking these words.

"Gerard..." Mikey says quietly. He takes the note from Gerard's shaking hands, turns it over, and hands it to him again.

p.s.

i know by some point this note will be passed to him, and he knows who he is.

continue to live. continue to strive for a bright future.

but please remember; i never loved anyone like i loved you, and i never could love like that again. i didn't have it in me.

it was always you.

i just wanted you to love me, one more time.

xøfrnk

important a/n: if you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal/harmful thoughts or actions; please reach out. you don't have to fight alone.