Simply Hard

Chapter 16

"So," Aidan said awkwardly. "You want something to drink?"

"Erm," I chuckled to myself. "Weird question, but do you have any tea? Like peppermint tea or something."

Aidan's blank and awkward expression on his face turned into a somewhat amused smile or smirk. He nodded, "I'll be right back."

He left the room leaving me to fall silent again. After Alex and Johna left there seemed to be this big elephant in the room that wouldn't leave. I knew it would happen when the last time we spoke ended up in an argument only this morning, but I didn't assume that it'd be awkward afterwards. I hoped it would be like it was last Friday.

I heard the sound of the kettle turn off and the trickling water pouring out into a mug after. Aidan walked back in with my cup of tea and his glass of coke. I felt so out of place.
"Thank you," I nodded my head to him and took the cup.

It seemed like the small thank you wasn't enough to get rid of the silence, because, once again, the awkwardness came back.

I let my eyes trail over Aidan's basement, looking at the pruned flowers in the glass vase and obscure fascinating paintings that he said his sister insisted on keeping in the basement after his mum past away. My eyes traveled over the DVDs on the shelf and then the books until they caught one book in particular.

"What you looking at, Els?" He asked. Aidan followed my gaze to the book on the shelf. He chuckled. "The books, I should of known."

He stood himself up and casually walked over to the book shelf, taking out the book that I'd been gazing at. "You want to read it?"
Aidan passed me the book, holding it out for me.

"But isn't it your mums?" I asked, unsurely.

"Ella, we've already talked about my mum. I love her but she passed away. Besides, reading one of her favourite books would of probably made her happy." He smiled tightly but genuinely at me.

Hesitantly, I put my hand out to take the book. He told me once, in a car journey to school, that this was her favourite book. Aidan nodded his head and sat on the other side of the sofa I was on, as if to tell me it was ok. I carefully treated the book as if it was some sort of antique price of China that could break at a delicate touch.
But it wasn't an antique price of China. It was a book, that Aidan's mother owned before she died. It was almost like it was one of the only things left of her for him.

"Ella, it's fine," he said smiling. "You can read the book, it's not going end my world if you accidentally rip the page, it's my mums favourite book not her will. Your fine, Els, just read it."

"Like now?" I asked shyly.

"You can if you want. Nothing's stopping you." He laughed a little and kept smiling.

I opened the book and curled up into the corner of the sofa, with the tea in my lap, continuously tapping my fingers on my leg. At home, this is what I normally did, and it just felt right to do it here too.

My eyes stayed glued on the pages like two magnets. Books like this you could never leave. The first chapter hooked you in and wouldn't realise you so easily. It was these sorts of books that tore me away from the real world.

With in just a few moments, I had traveled onto the second chapter. Not once had my eye strayed from the pages.

I heard a deep chuckle to my right. "Your so strange," Aidan whispered to himself.

I snapped the book shut and placed it beside me before spinning around to talk to him. The tea on my lap threw across the floor. I jumped up and gasped. "Shit, shit, shit..." I frantically danced around trying to find some tissue to clean it with.

Aidan's chuckles grew to a bark of laughter as he watched me prance around his basement that looked more like a living room. Finally, he got up and spun me around to face him. He put his hands on my shoulders to stop me and stared into my eyes. We were so close. "Ella, stop, your ok," His laughter began to die down but it didn't stop, as his smile spread across his face in pure amusement. I caught his eyes quickly glance at my lips before they blinked and retreated back to stare into mine.
"It's just some tea on a dark carpet. It barely shows through, I'll just get some tissue, ok?"

I nodded for breathed out. Aidan chuckled one more time, before standing up straight and leaving the room. Leaving me still bright red and slightly flustered.

After disappearing into the kitchen, Aidan returned with a roll of tissue to clean up the spillage. I took the kitchen roll from him and immediately and started to clean up the mess.

"You know I can help right?" He said.

"Yeah, but I made the mess so I'm clearing it up." I told him, applying pressure to the tissue as it soaked up the water.

Aidan bent down beside me and took some tissue for him self. "I can still help." He said.

I snatched the tissue from him. "I made the mess."

He laughed a breathy laugh and stood up, taking his hand through his hair.  "Your so weird." He muttered.

I turned to his direction with my eyebrows stuck half way up my forehead. "And your not?"

"Oh, I am, Els." He chuckled, smirking. "Your just... especially weird."

"What's so weird about me?" I stood up, attempting to match his dominant height, but failing miserably.

"I wouldn't say weird," He huffed, searching his mind for a word. "Mind blowingly hard to understand."

"I'm not hard to understand," I said confusingly.

"Your really are, Els." He assured.

"No..." I tried to think of some other way to describe myself without agreeing with him. "Just... complex."

"Which is the same as hard to understand, I'm afraid." Aidan chuckled. "You have these moments where you get really angry or upset, and you don't explain them, and it's just..." he sighed heavily.

"I can't explain them. Their private." I insisted.

"Yeah... your just so confusing."

"I'm not. It just takes longer to understand me." I stood my ground firmly, knowing he'd probably get to me soon enough.

"Hard to understand." He laughed.

"I'm actually quite simple." I stated.

"Fine," he said almost smiling. "Your simply hard to understand."

"See, I can except that." I said, on the verge of laughing.

Aidan shook his head, chuckling at me. He bowed slightly his head and let his hair fall over his face, he combed his hand through it. He had fallen silent so suddenly, I was worried he was upset about something.
"Fuck me," he muttered no longer chuckling but shaking his at himself.

I laughed lightly, "No thank-"

Aidan took a step closer to me and kissed me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I was shocked, at first, but it felt so soft and right. I kissed him back gently as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Aidan's hand grabbed my thigh and held it high against his hip. He used his grip on my thigh to pick my whole body up and press me against the wall.

I'd been kissed many times but none ever felt like this. My skin was on fire and I just wanted more.

He held me tightly as we kissed each other, passionately. Aidan carried me back to the sofa and laid me down, pulling his t-shit over his head, breaking our kiss.

"Do you want to?" He asked, hoarsely. I nodded my head with out a doubt. "You sure?"

I took another second to think about loosing my virginity to some one I wasn't actually with. Every second of our kisses felt right so far, and I didn't feel like stopping now.

"Did I stutter?" Aidan shook head head, breathlessly and smiling.

"You didn't even talk, Els." He smirked and kissed my jaw line. That was one more reason to keep going. When he called me that I felt giddy and full of life.

"Oh, shut up."

I connected our lips once more.