trouble | g.d

chapter twenty four

The muffled sound of my doorbell was heard, followed by multiple knocks. I lay in bed, the sheets covering half of my face with my eyes red and puffy, trying my best to ignore the irritating sound of the door. I had a guess on who was standing outside on my porch , waiting for me to answer, but I refused to leave my room. I couldn't even bring myself to do it. Suddenly, the annoying noise stopped, and I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that the boy who caused my heartbreak had probably left. After a peaceful five seconds, he knocked again, making me bury my face even more into the soft but now damp pillow. This time he didn't stop knocking, urging me to jump up and stomp down the stairs angrily, opening the door without even looking out the small window beforehand. As soon as I looked up at the boy on my porch I loosened up a little bit, seeing Parker fiddling with his fingers uncomfortably. I couldn't not let him in, since he hadn't really done anything wrong. Other than calling my boyfriend a dick. But, is he even my boyfriend right now?
" can I come in? " Parker asked, and I responded by opening the door wider for him to enter.
He did as I expected slowly, making sure to take his time which made the anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach rise.
" look, I'm really sorry for making the situation worse with the I told you so shit... I didn't mean for it to come across that harsh " Parker hurriedly explained, stopping once he reached the bottom of the stairs.
I didn't know how to respond, so I stayed silent, waiting for him to speak again.
" and I just want to let you know that I'm here for you. Forget about everything that's happened in the past, because you're my friend now and I want to be there " He breathed out, my eyes turning foggy again at the thought of him helping me through the situation, reminding me of the situation itself.
The boy quickly realised that I was about to explode, rushing to my side and pulling me into his arms, something he's never done before. I felt myself tense up at the feeling, and I'm pretty sure he felt it too, since he started rubbing my back soothingly.
" let it out, Bella... I'm all ears " Parker whispered, my brain being clouded with more thoughts of Grayson.

Bella. Only Grayson can call me that.

Even though that nickname reminded me so much of the boy I love, I didn't stop him from using it. I was in too much of an emotional state to even consider scolding him for it.
" come on " He said, his hand sliding down to my waist and remaining there as he lead me up the stairs of my own house and to my bedroom.
The way he rubbed my hip as he guided me felt so uncomfortable, and so forced. I've only ever been okay with someone touching me like that with Grayson, and it almost felt as if he were taking advantage of my vulnerable stage.

However I let him do it, eventually reaching my bedroom and opening the door. He instantly sat me down on my bed, and it was then that I realised that the flood gates had opened, and the tears were streaming down my face at an inhuman rate.
Parker sat himself beside me, bringing me into his arms and rubbing my sides, trying to comfort me but only sending me more pain. Not physically, but mentally. It made me think of Grayson, and how much I'd prefer to be in his arms, even for just a second.
" he doesn't deserve you, trust me, Bella " Parker said, trying to stop my uncontrollable tears.
Instead I cried harder, also feeling angrier after hearing him say those words. Part of me believed what Kaylee said: that there is a reason and an explanation behind all of this. But another half of me knows that I don't deserve to get lied to like that, nobody does.
" look, you can find someone who treats you so much better " Parker added, falling silent as he hesitated on whether to say the next part or not.
" like me " He said barely above a whisper, my quiet cries stopping because of the shock.
I didn't even know whether I'd heard that right, all I knew was that my body had went numb, and I'd froze. The next thing I saw was him leaning closer, his hand cupping my cheek and my jawline. Soon enough his lips were on mine, the unfamiliar and wrong feeling flooding in. It was like my brain had completely died, and I was stuck. I couldn't remove myself from the situation at all. Even when I tried to gently push him away by harshly placing my hand on his chest, he took that as a sign of me wanting more. When in fact I wanted him to stop.

Breathless, he pulled away, satisfied. The smirk on his face said it all, but it was so much more devious. It was almost scary looking, and I was concerned just looking at him.
" you liked that, didn't you? " Parker cockily spoke, raising his eyebrows and trying to act smart.

No. I definitely didn't.

Before I could even get my words out, or at least attempt to, he'd cut me off.
" It's okay, if you did... you don't have to hide it, because I definitely did " He shrugged, immediately making me overwhelmed with guilt.
" give me a chance, I'll show you how you should be treat " Parker breathed out, moving my long hair to one side and placing a kiss on my now bare shoulder.
I didn't like the feeling, and so I shuddered. It was so cold and meaningless, unlike when I'm with Grayson. He makes me feel adventurous, and safe. I've done things with him that I'd never even think about doing with someone else, but I chose to. I wasn't pressured or taken advantage of, unlike right now.

He continued to leave a trail of kisses along my exposed skin, his lips not moving from my collarbone.
" s-stop " I stuttered, trying to push him away again, failing miserably.
Parker continued what he was doing, this time more aggressively, his hand almost holding me in place, though he covered it up. I felt so broken, so fragile. And under Parker's touch I was about to crack. I felt so pressured, like I had no choice whether to do this or not.
" please stop " I pleaded again, this time wriggling out of his grip, finally free.
I struggled to find my breath, my chest heaving up and down because of the fear. My eyes landed on Parker, who was looking at the ground, clearly thinking about what to say or do.
" sorry... it's too soon " He muttered, before standing up, grabbing his keys and shoving them into his pocket.
" I'll see you tomorrow, okay? " The boy added, smiling a forced smile as he left my room, closing the door behind him.
I waited until I heard my front door shut to let it all out, the tears and endless cries of worry.
During that whole thing, I couldn't move. It was like my body had given up and my brain had gone into a sleep, leaving me hopeless. If I hadn't managed to get my words out, what would have happened? That's what scared me.

What also terrified me, was that Parker took advantage of me. I was vulnerable, weak and timid, and he used me because of that. He saw that as his chance, and pounced. Grayson would never do that, he'd always make sure that whatever happens is because I want it, not because I can't think or I'm in a bad place.

I don't want Parker, and I never will. Maybe if I was the lonely school photographer with hardly any friends like I was just last month, I would. Now that I have Grayson, I'm thankful that a lot of things have been put into perspective. But a lot of those things, could end very very soon.

A/N- I'm so sorry for not updating a lot! I'm on a family holiday in Cyprus🌴 If you want to see photos and videos of that check my instagram because I have a lot of stuff on my story🙂 I'll be travelling home on the 9th August but I'll try and write chapters while I'm sunbathing and stuff :)

Anyway, this chapter is so bad I apologise haha
It's so rushed and it's not even detailed but I wanted to update, so I did.
Y'all are gonna hate me for this too, because Bella and Grayson JUST argued and now Parker is being a piece of shit as usual paha
BUT HEY THIS IS ALL PART OF THE STORYLINE
let me know what you think💘

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