Chapter 15

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Aden's P.O.V
Dedicated to Kristeneragon14

Okay Aden, you need to do this, do this for her, I mean look at her. You did this to her, you hurt her, and you want to marry her? No! It's too much, I'm amazed she even said yes to a monster like you. Truth be told I don't deserve her, but I love her. She's everything. Looking at her sleeping I find more reasons why I should do this. I wonder what she's dreaming about, you could tell it was a good dream, she has that half smile.

She's probably not dreaming about me, for the past couple of days I have put her into misery, hell! Her life was not great and I've made it worse, what kind of boyfriend am I? The worst. But God knows I didn't want to make her life hell, I just got really mad when she broke up with me.

I felt sick when imagining my life without her.I can't let her slip away, I need her, she's mine! Oh Emily my love. Why do I need to leave again?
She can forgive me right? Yes, she's a great person but the thing is I'll never forgive myself for what I did to her.
That's why I have to go, f**k! I started pacing up and down, sweating and my head was itchy. My breathing rate increased, I was panicking and I had a feeling that it was going to get worse, Emily started to toss and turn.
I rushed to her and her dream just took a turn for the worst.
"No," she kept mumbling. I started to try and calm her down even though I couldn't calm myself.

"Please Aden stop," she cried. S**t! Look at your doings Aden, this is 100% your fault! All yours, look at her, she's terrified of you! You Aden, you're stupid Aden, no let me correct that, you're CRAZY! "No," I referred to the voice inside my head. Yes! Wait, you  do know that she doesn't love you right? No! She said yes, she must love me. You imbecile! She said yes because she's f***en scared of you.
Shut up!
No can't do, truth is I missed you buddy, those pills got between us but thanks to jealousy I'm back baby! See this is your fault, you fed me lies!
No, this is all you, I didn't buy people to beat me up did I? I didn't kill Lucy, I never punched anybody, and I certainly did not beat this poor girl, I'm just in your head that's all.

Oh and I didn't drown little miss Sandy, "shut up!" I yelled.
Emily shot up, heavy breathing. She looked for me in the darkness and fortunately I was right beside her. She started to cry,
"I'm here my love, you just had a bad dream," I embraced her.
"I tried-" I stopped her and told her not to talk.
See how terrified she is, but you can fix this. How? Well you can kill her!
"No!" I yelled.
"Aden what's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing love, go back to sleep," I tucked her in and kissed her now wet hair.
'I'm not doing that again,' I thought.
At once you fail you have got to try, try and try again.
'I can't shut you up can I?' I asked the voice.
Nope.
Well I have an idea.
Aden, buddy, don't do it. Please I'm sorry. I admit okay? It's all my fault.
No you were right, all my fault.
You're not thinking straight,
I'm not but it's the only way I can shut you up for good.

What about her?
Who? Emily? She's brave and besides I need to be punished.
What are you doing?
The hardest thing ever, I'm writing a letter for her.
This is crazy,
Yeah, well I'm crazy right?

My dearest Emily,
Read this letter with a British accent.
I'm kidding, this is serious.
I may have chosen the easy way out, Death,
It's a cowardly act but I couldn't live with what I've done to you, what I've put you through . I've put you through hell and that's where I'm going.
I thought of running away but I could never live in the world without you, without your smile, pretty face and mood swings ;)

Have you ever loved someone it hurt deep inside? I loved you more than that feeling, I got sick inside when I wasn't around you and I did things I'm not proud of, terrible doings. I've written this letter so many times in my mind but what I felt in my heart and what I thought in my mind were two different things.
They didn't connect.
I felt I loved you but I thought that loving you means keeping you to myself only,

I need to come clean about Lucy, Em it wasn't suicide.
I'm sorry but, she had a lot of questions about my past, where I grew up and all those things.
You started complaining about how she feels about me not being right for you. That made me furious and the day she died, she called me to your apartment and had dug up my past, she was going to tell you that I was crazy,
I begged her not to but she wasn't in the mood to listen.
She yelled 'psycho' and that was the end.

I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry for leaving you,
I'm sorry for what you'll see in the morning.
I'm sorry for everything.
I'm even sorry for loving you,
What was I even thinking?
Loving an honest, kind, humble, fun, intelligent human like you.
I am a monster! But thanks for loving me back, I mean you even agreed to marry me after putting you through hell.
You're extraordinary.
Thanks for reading so far, it means a lot <3

Now to the worst part, my wishes for you.
I wish you a great life,
I wish you all the best to your career,
I even wish you love,
I know you'll make it, I trust you'll pull through.
My brave baby girl, you are so brave!
I had an amazing time with you,
But don't you think I left you with nothing.
As revenge, always on my birthday I would hack my parents accounts and steal money, I didn't use one cent,
I have an account in the deep web and the my password is Sniper3D. ( first epic game I ever played thanks to you) I want you to have it, it's around a million dollars, don't spend it all in one place ;)

It'd be best if you bought some shares at Grace Institution.
You'll have something that meant the second best thing in my life.
With you my love being the first of course.
Take good care of yourself, but please remember me,
You have my blessings to date whomever you want but please not Collen at least not now.

I'm happy with my decision, this will be best for both of us, with me gone.
I can't say I'll be with you all the time because that's not true, I will be facing my punishment in hell, I hope we never meet again because if we meet it'll be in the worst place, heaven is for you.
But don't worry, you'll be on my mind 24/7 and that's if there's time where I'm going.

Goodbye Dr Emily Parker- Michelson.

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