Lucky | ✔️

Chapter 18

'Are you okay?' she asks. Both of you go to the nearest cafe since you dont feel like having a dinner.

You just reply with a heavy sigh. Both of the girls dont know anything about what Hanjin did and you are not sure to tell them about it or not. They might freak out. You as well, when you talk about it, the memories will come and its hard for you to get rid of that. Your anxiety will attack. You have this thought once about killing yourself before when you got no one to lean on, no one to support you and you are still survive until now.

'Hey,' Yerin touch your hand.

You can feel your eyes starts tearing up. 'Yerin, can i just stay with you for tonight?' You start sobbing.

'Why?'

'I mean yea of course but what happen? Why are you crying?'

You just cry and cry and never try to hold on your tears anymore. Yerin immediately change her seat and sit beside you. She pull you closer and let you cry on her shoulder. You feel good knowing that someone is there for you. She doesnt have to say a word. What she did is just more than enough when no one really did that to you before. You've been crying really hard for almost 2 hours. Its like you let everything out, everything that you keep inside all this while, everything that you cant say through words.  

That night, spend a night at Yerin's house and go to the company the next day together. During breakfast, both of you just stay quite. Yerin just let you calm down on your own and at the same time she's monitoring you. You feel better but you still dont have the mood to laugh or smile yet. Yugyeom appear at the cafe in the morning and take a breakfast alone there. He just said hi before he takes his food and take a seat at the usual table.

You know you need to talk with him. You think that he is being like that since you agreed on Jackson accompany you home the other day. Since then, he didnt text you at all.

'Are you sick?' you ask him, and thats the first thing that appear in your mind to start a conversation.

'No i am not. I am fine,' He smiles even you can see very well that he is forcing himself to smile at you.

'Got practice today?' you still try.

'Nope, i just drop by to see you. I will go after i finish up my breakfast,'

'Oh okay. You didnt text me,'

'Yea because i dont know if thats the right thing to do,'

'What do you mean?'

'You look like you are not okay and you want to be alone. And if i dont text, why dont you start first if you want to talk with me. Theres nothing wrong with that right? And seems like youare just fine without me texting you. You have Jimin and Yerin all the time and then Jackson as well now. You dont really need me,'

'What is wrong with you all of sudden Kim Yugyeom?'

'Look, Yoomi. I like you and i know you like me as well. I'm working this thing out. I dont know this kind of thing and when i realize that i have feelings on you, i want to do something about it. I know you like me too, so why cant we just put an effort together instead of me, always have to start first,'

You really wish that Yugyeom didnt say that. The last thing that you want to happen is having an argument with Yugyeom, or actually you dont want it to happen at all.

Yugyeom just walk away after he said that. You are still standing right beside his table, trying to cool down. Everything is so confusing and you really hate every situation at that time. You clean up his table and try to work as usual for the day. After work, you have a talk with Ken that you want 3 days off and you will replace the day with your complimentary off day.

You rush out after work, before Yerin and Jimin arrive, and drop by at the convenience store. You buy ramen and Kimchi and eat as much as you can. You dont want to think about anything nor spending your time with anyone right now. You even switch off your phone. After dinner, you take a long walk at Hangang River and try to free your mind. You go inside your house after standing outside for half an hour, gathering all your strength at 2am in the morning. 

The house is so quite and you are not sure if your dad and step mom are at home since its weekend. Lena and Hanjin probably not around as well because their weekend always full with party. You take a quick step to your room but the moment you want to enter your room, Hanjin appear and push you inside.

'Hi sister,' he said.

'Get out,'

'Why are you so scared of me,'

'I said get out,' you try to sound like you are not scared of him at all.

'And if i dont want to?' he come closer. And closer. And closer. You take a step back until you hit the wall. He is so close. You try to push him but he is stronger and he pulls you, hugs you, and kiss you. You try to hard to push him again and been trying to tell him to stop. You are struggling for almost 15 minutes and then he stops, and just looking at you while you are still in his arm. He gives you a smile before letting you go and leave your room. You close the door and lock immediately. 

You are so angry, you feel so disgusting and depressed. This is the second time he did that. You still cant get rid of the memories of the old one and he did it again this time. You dont know how to fight anymore. You hate everything. His touch, his smile, his smell, you scream so loud when that thought appear. 

That night, you dont sleep. You've been crying while trying and struggling for the one whole night, telling yourself its going to be alright.