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Kabanata 21

Kabanata 21

I woke up feeling nothing. I'm so tired na parang ayoko nalang din bumangon. But I remember na we have practice. I can't let ate Ly down.

Pagkababa ko ay nandoon pa rin si daddy. Nagpaalam lang ako na aalis na but my mom insist na kumain muna.

"Ma, I'm full." I said.

"You have to eat, anak. Ang payat mo na nga eh."

"Let her, mahal." My father said. "Maybe she's full talaga."

Wala ng nagawa pa si mama kundi ang hayaan ako. I don't know kung saan ko nakukuha yung lakas na mayroon ako ngayon.

When I arrived at the gym I saw ate Ly's car there, I was hoping na siya lang muna ang nandoon.

Pagpasok ko, I saw ate Ly na nakaupo lang. She was tying her shoe lace so I went to her.

"Good morning, babba." I greeted her.

"Good morning baby besh!" She happily said. "Oh, what's wrong?"

I smiled and shook my head. "I'm okay."

She held my hand. "I know you, baby. What is it?"

"I'm just tired."

"Hm? Is it about Maddie?"

I looked at her. "How?"

"Do you think I didn't knew what was going on between you and Maddie?"

I looked down. "It was forbidden. Our school won't agree."

"Hey, who says they won't agree? Did you tried?"

I shook my head. "Because we were contented at what we have, or so I thought."

"No, baby besh." Ate Ly said. I looked at her. "You didn't want to lose her kaya you chose not to let anyone except from our teammates know but you lost yourself in the process."

I sighed. "I was beyond scared, babba. Seeing her building walls between us? No. I can't."

"And you let yourself became being mistreated? You let yourself became being unappreciated and being put last on her priority?" She asked me.

"Everything's okay with me, babba. As long as I knew that Maddie is mine, then it's okay."

"That's not okay, Bea." Ate Ly said. "But knowing Maddie? It makes my heart break. I've seen you both grow. And I knew na Maddie won't let you miserable. But this has to end, all your pain and sacrifices."

I tried to smile at ate Ly. "God knows, how much I wanted to say "Don't leave me", but I know she made a decision already."

Ate Ly hugged me. This is what I need the most.

"I wanted to say na "I don't care anymore", but I knew to myself na I really care for her. That no matter what she did, she always has that spot on my heart. I wanted to say "I'm sorry" rn, but I don't really know what I've done."

"Maybe she's not yet ready, baby. We can't force her na gawin yung bagay na hindi niya kaya."

"Pero paano naman ako, babba?" I asked. "I'm tired with this shit."

"What can we do, baby? If siya mismo ang umiiwas sa topic na yun?"

"Babba, God knows how much I wanted to say "I want us to try to try again", but I'm scared na baka ireject niya lang ako ulit. Dahil alam ko na may iba na siyang mahal." I didn't noticed my tears not until I felt my heart in pieces again. "I wanted to hold on but I knew to myself na wala na akong pinanghahawakan pa."