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Kabanata 15

Kabanata 15

The situation I've been through taught me to learn to let go; to stop holding on to people who you know you can't have.

I have learn to forgive. Life is too short for grudges; don't have to be mad at someone who didn't do good on you.

I found the happiness for others; accepted my defeats from the battle I faced with only few people around me.

"You okay?" Tanong ni Gizelle sakin pagsakay namin ng sasakyan niya.

"Uh-uh."

"Mads, you know naman na you can't lie to me diba?"

I looked at her. "Gi, she has all the rights to get mad at me."

"But she never knew what was the reason."

"She doesn't need to know naman eh."

Bumuntong hininga si Gizelle. She knows everything. And yet she never judge me for everything I have done. Even with the stupidest decisions I made.

"She deserves to know, Mads." Singit ni Denice. "Hindi habang buhay ay mapapaniwala siya ng kasinungalingan."

Hindi ako nakaimik because I knew Denice was right.

"We knew Bea, fly. She's a beast." Ani Gizelle. "If you can't tell her the reason why, alam kong pahihirapan ka niya."

"If I told her, it'll be the same, Gi. Sayo na mismo nanggaling, she's a beast."

"We're there already, Maddie. But what if she founds out? Paano kung sa ibang tao pa niya malaman?" Tanong ni Denice. "Don't you think that it'll wreck her life thrice?"

"I saw how she became miserable nung umalis ka, Maddie." Ani Gizelle. "Para na rin kaming nasira dahil iba e. Ibang Bea na yung nakasama namin. Wala na ding Maddie."

Hindi ako makaimik sa mga sinasabi nila. Siguro, guilt was eating me.

"And you see, she's mad at you because she thought na iniwan mo lang siya kasi di mo naman talaga siya mahal." Ani Gizelle.

I thought that letting go is always the right thing to do; that loosing grip on someone you loved is the end of every pain, sadness and heartaches. But, no. I was wrong. I was so wrong on thinking that I saved her from the miserable life I can give her; that I saved myself from heartaches.

The truth is, the hardest thing to do is — letting go of someone you love; maybe someone who you love dearly or someone who loves you more. All I'm aware of is ginawa ko lang yung sa tingin kong tama, and that is letting go of her who became my constant happiness. Yes, this is the most difficult one yet this also may be the best decision I have ever done.

I was brave enough to let go of her that once made me whole, for becoming the best version of me.

"Can you endure the bitchiness she'll throw at you?" Gizelle asked.

I endure the pain and heartaches with myself only, Gi. Ngayon pa ba ako susuko?

I smiled at her. "If enduring her bitchiness can make us okay then game on."

Bumuntong hininga si Gizelle. "Parang alam ko na ano mangyayari satin lagi sa training."

"No. I'll try my best not to interfere with Bea's." I said.

"Yes, I know you can do that." Aniya. "Eh siya kaya? Will she do the same?"

"She's with Jho." I said. "Mawawala din atensyon niya sakin."

"I wonder kung paano kaya kapag nalaman ni Bea ang lahat?"

"It surely will make or break your team, Gi." Denice butted in. "Everyone knew it was Maddie's fault tho."

"Denice's right." Ani Gizelle. "I' scared for what might happen."

"Just promise not to tell anyone." I told her.

"Duh, Yrenea. It was four fucking years yet no one knew I had comunication with you."

Yes, you read it right. Four fucking years. Gizelle knew where I was. Gizelle knew the reason why I ran away.

"Pero nakakapagtaka lang." Ani Denice. "It seems like Coach Tai and Mona doesn't knew anything?"

"Yun nga din pinagtataka ko, e." Ani Gizelle. "Coaching staff sila yet they told us lang na Maddie chose to not play her last 2 years."

"Maybe the management didn't told them?" Wika ko.

"Hindi, e." Tanggi ni Gizelle. "Kasi nung sila Ella naman sinabi yung totoong dahilan e."

"Hayaan nalang natin." I told them.

The four years I spent away from them had me the time to heal my own wounds. There were times na loneliness will hit me so hard and it'll make me cry but I chose to stay strong and never regret anything. Because I knew it's only for a while, its only a matter of time. That, soon i'll be okay rin naman. I just need to take time to breath again and make myself busy.

For all the painful things thrown at me I'm still thankful because it taught me to be stronger than before. It taught me that the best things in the world does not go always on our way instantly it is better to wait and do something for it to get it, because sabi nga nila ang mga bagay sa buhay na madaling makuha ay madali ring mawala.

"How can you easily chose to let her go?" Tanong bigla ni Gizelle sakin.

"Trust me, Gi. That wasn't the easiest thing to do." I told her. "It was the most painful yet the most rewarding lesson of my life."

"Pero paano nga?" Aniya. "I mean, the way you looked at her kanina, it's like you never had feelings for her."

"I chose to let go of the things or I mean someone, I know I cannot be with forever."

She looked at me. "I can't believe it."

I chuckled.

"The way she reacts kanina, alam mong mayroon pa eh." Aniya. "Alam mong bitter pa rin."

Napailing nalang ako. "Stop imagining things, Gi. It might hurt you."

She laughs. "Uh, no. Just telling my observation tho."

"Stop. Someone's being jealous." I told her and looked at Denice.

"What?!" Iritado niyang sabi sakin.

"Told you, Gi. Someone's jealous." I said jokingly. "Aw, Nice!"

Hinampas niya ako ng sobrang lakas dahilan para mapangiwi ako.

"Nananahimik ako dito ah!" Reklamo ni Denice.

Gizelle laughs. "You guys really look so cute."

"Yeah, you guys look cute too." I retorted. "Small but terrible. Aray ko!"

They both slapped my shoulder. Napakapikon ng mga tao ngayon. Napailing nalang ako. But being with this two made me realize something; that I don't need too many people to make me happy and contented.

—

PS. It'll be Bea's POV next. 😊