Middle

Kabanata 20

Kabanata 20

Hindi ako matahimik dahil sa nabasa ko. What was that for? She loves me but she left me. For what? What the hell is this?

I didn't even bother to go at Jho's place. Too tired for another shit. I know she'll nag me lang about me being with Maddie again.

"Hi, sis. What's up?" Kuya Loel went to my room. I don't know why but I need someone to talk to.

"I.. uh, I fucking don't know." I was so frustrated.

He chuckles. "Chill, sis. What happened ba?"

"Jia drag me and Maddie. We were at ate Ly's place, we talked about relationships and shits. Then Maddie said an advice which was I don't know if she was saying that para matamaan rin ako."

"And?"

"Jia left us. I was with Maddie nalang and we went to Intramuros. But Jho being bitchy, she called me and threw tantrums. Maddie asked me to dropped her sa UPTC she'll buy something. The original plan was I'll help her but change of plans. And when I was about to go, I saw a paper and I read it."

My brother's forehead creased. "Why the hell did you read it? Is it yours?"

"I fucking don't know. Okay?" I said. "It was Maddie's penmanship and it was B. Who the hell is B in her life?"

"Maybe her ex?"

"The fuck? The letter was about leaving B."

"So, you assume that B was you?"

"Trust me, kuya. That's me."

"Okay, okay. Inangkin mo na eh." He said. "So, what's the problem?"

"Kuya she said on that fucking letter na leaving B behind is like living and dying everyday."

"Then?"

"She never wanted to leave me. But she had to." I said. "I'm fucking so tired with this shit. Why she can't tell me nalang the reason?"

"Hey, I think you need to give yourself a break." He said. "It's not like you have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders."

"I just really want to know what was her reason for leaving me."

"Baby sis, look at yourself. You always had the feelings of self-blaming, but you are only human. You can make mistakes."

I sighed. "Yes, I know. Pero if I had mistakes, don't I have a chance to make it right?"

"What if she's still not ready?"

I was out of words. What if she's not really ready for this kind of relationship?

"What if someone who is so constant to your life suddenly disappears out of your life?" I asked.

"I think they have reason naman why they left. Maybe it's for the best, or not."

"I'm so tired of this." I said. "Thinking what gone wrong."

"Know what, baby sis?" He asked.  "Sometimes we don't need advice. We just need someone to listen."

I nodded.

"But it's okay of you asked help. Para malaman mo yung totoo." He said then winked at me.

Gizelle's face flashed on my mind. Yes, maybe Gi know something.

"Thanks, kuya!" I said and then rushed to my car.

Sana, sana Gizelle will tell me everything or kahit kaonti lang. That would be a big help to me.

I went to Gizelle's condo. Hoping na she was there. Jho was calling me pero I wasn't answering.