The Concrete Sun

The Test

I was working at the files again, but this time I was not tempted to look into any of the files. Not even a glimpse, not even in my own. Finding out about Bade's parents made me feel sick. It was a horrible idea that his parents had gotten executed for trying to hide the fact that Bade was sick from the Nation.

It was a lot harder to do work now, thinking about it and even though I tried to forget about it, it kept sticking inside my brain.

We all got to leave an hour early to go to the monthly pregnancy test. I was called in fairly soon as my last name started with an H and was a bit scared when the nurse came to draw my blood, but she said nothing, and I decided to be quiet too. She had to probably do an endless amount of these every day and I did not want to be the most difficult person today.

She walked out of the room then and I sat on the bed for 15 minutes until she came back. I was pressing a dressing against my elbow, it was not bleeding bad but it still stung a bit.

We had this so many times before in the dorms, but I was still not used to it.

In the dorms they checked our blood every now and then, but I was glad nothing had ever come up for Bade. Luckily it was not something they could see in the blood.

Did my mum go through these tests every month until one day she heard that she was pregnant with me? Was she happy? Did she love my dad? I had a lot of questions, but knew that I would probably never find out.

The nurse came walking back in with a paper, probably something that needed to be put in my file tomorrow by my coworker.

''I am so sorry, hopefully next month.'' The nurse said and I got up. I had known, but I still tried to pretend to look really shocked. I knew that I had not been pregnant and I did not really care for now.

I knew that we would need to have a baby, soon, but I was not sure if I could do it.

It was all getting so much with the new job and Bade. I just hoped that it would all be okay soon.

I was still home before him and had exchanged the coupon. Looking at our stock we had a few potatoes now, some carrots and still a coupon for bread and butter that I had not exchanged in yet.

Making dinner, I knew that he would probably hate another bowl of potato and carrot stew, but even though he hated it, he also knew that I did not really have choice. We had seen that Eli and Myrda got different stuff too, so hopefully it would get better from here.

I know they also got oatmeal and rice sometimes and I really hoped we got some of that soon. It would last us a lot better than just vegetables.

Bade came home from the factory and even though he was really tired, he was not crashing on the bed this time, but walked up behind me and handed me the coupon for another bag of potatoes.

''Oh do I smell carrots and potatoes?''

''My specialty.'' I smiled. He laughed for a second as well, sitting down then.

''You look good today.'' I said then, ''I mean you don't look so tired.''

''Eli had me working on something outside the factory, clearing up mostly, wasn't as heavy.'' He admitted. ''Was a bit windy but better than being inside all day.''

Smiling, I handed him the food and was glad to hear that this had been a lot easier on him and he had had an okay day at work.

''How was the test?'' He asked then and I shrugged.

''It was nothing big.'' I told him, ''They just drew some blood and I had to wait 15 minutes. ''Gave away a lot of coupons to the pregnant women, not me ofcourse.''