Corren's Fight

Chapter Twenty-One - Promise

Jem found me on the old worn out couch in the garage with my blue ball. I kept throwing it against the wall from my seat, keeping an open hand waiting for it to bounce back. My insomnia routine. Jem sighed at my pitiful predicament.

"I don't know exactly what happened, but you need to fix it."

I kept throwing the ball. "She hates me."

"And who's fault is that?"

I threw the ball with more force. "Mine. It's all my fault."

"And what are you gonna do about it?"

"Nothing."

"Is that so?"

I didn't answer.

"Pathetic."

I jumped up. "You want to talk about pathetic?"

"Don't start with me, Boy!"

I turned around and pulled at my hair. I turned back to Jem. "I'm  sorry, but she's gone Jem. She hates me and it's my fault and I can't fix it this time. Why should I try anyhow? I was an asshole right from the beginning. I never deserved her and she sure as hell doesn't deserve me."

Jem nodded. "Okay. That may be true. The whole lot may be true, but I know for a fact that girl is worth fighting for. I heard you say you loved her. When you love someone you don't back down no matter how hard things get. No matter how badly one of you screws up you keep battling for each other. Why? Because that's what love is. When you say 'I love you' that's a promise, and love is keeping the promise anyway."

"What if she doesn't want me to keep it?"

"Did she say you two were done?"

I ran through our fight. Emily never said that we were broken up. "No..."

"Then it's not over."

I looked up at him.

Jem smiled and tossed me his keys. "Go."

My hands gripped the wheel tightly. I pulled up in front of Emily's house. I glanced at the time on the dashboard. 8:30. I slipped out of the car and ran to her front porch. I rang the doorbell a few times, begging whatever higher power existed that Emily would answer. She did.

"You need to leave."

"Emily just listen to me! Let me explain!"

"I thought we went through this!"

"No, we didn't! Not my side! Not my piece! I'm not leaving until you hear me out!"

She gave me a wary look, but gave in. "Fine." She came outside and sat on the porch, hugging her knees.

I sat with her. "I started dealing because I wanted to be caught. I wanted some way to rebel against Jem, against my parents for sending me here. I resented everything. I wanted to do everything I could to get into trouble. Tyson Matthews offered me a job. It was before you and I were even friends, Em. Before we got close. When we started dating I knew I needed to get out before something bad happened, or I was in too deep. You didn't deserve some drug dealer as a boyfriend. I've been trying to get out for months. I gave Tyson my last payment a few days ago. I'm free. I'm not doing it anymore and I'm never doing it again."

A moment passed.

Emily remained quiet, most likely trying to take it all in. "Why did you still have that bag?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. I must have forgot it there when doing a deal for Tyson. I found it before you came over and meant to throw it away. I never got around to it."

She looked at me. "And you never took any drugs?"

"No. Never. I only sold it. Besides, you can tell when someone is on something. They're either skittish or too relaxed. I've always been the same, haven't I?"

She sighed and looked down at her shoes. "Dammit, Corren."

"I know. I'm an idiot and an asshole and I'm sorry."

She huffed. "It just irritates me! You think you can pull the 'I love you' card and everything will be okay? It doesn't work like that!" She stood up.

"I wasn't trying to make you stay! It just came out! I didn't know how much I cared about you until I was this close to losing you! But it's true... I do love you. I love you Emily. I don't expect you to say it back. I have a horrible timing and I don't deserve it but it's the truth. If my 'truth' even means anything anymore."

She gazed back desperately as though she wanted me to hold her but I was too far out of reach.

"I love you  too, Corren. I do, but this is serious. You're asking me to bend my morals. Is that how it's going to be from now on every time your upset? You're going to go off and do the most destructive thing you can find? "

"No. I'm not like that anymore. I came here angry, and confused and broken. But everything has changed. Can't you see that? Am I still the same egotistical asshole with snide comments and no respect?"

"No." She murmured.

"Then please. Give me a chance. I want to fix this. I know you don't trust me and you probably never will again but I'm going to try my hardest every day to change that."

I waited for her to respond.

"I'm sorry, Corren. I need some time to think about this."

Okay. That I could live with. As long as she didn't let me go completely there was hope. I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Okay... take all the time you need."

She walked back up the steps to her door. "Go home, Corren. Don't come back."

My head snapped up. She was already inside. What did that mean? I ran up the steps and pounded on her door. "Wait! Ems! What does that mean? Emily! Please! What does that mean!"

I got no response. "What does that mean..."

I pried myself away from her door, praying that the best thing that ever happened to me didn't just end it. With no other choice I trudged back to Jem's car and went home. I pulled up to the side of the house where the garage was. I switched off the engine.

"Please don't let her end it..." I muttered.

I sat there for a minute in complete solitude.

There was a shout.

A gunshot thundered through the air. I looked up in time to see Tyson running across the yard.

"Tyson!" I yelled.

He raised a silver object. I ducked down as he shot at me. The bullets shattered the glass, but I was left unharmed. I jumped out of the car and ran after him. "Tyson you coward!"

He turned and fired at me again. I dropped down, the bullets hitting a window. I got up and sprinted for him but it was too late. He was already in his car speeding away. I stood there panting before something dawned on me.

My eyes widened. "Jem."

I raced back for the house shouting as loud as I could. "Jem! Jem!"

The front door was open. The figure of a man laid sprawled on the floor with a pooling crimson stain on his waist.

November twenty-eighth, nine o'clock p.m. Jem was shot.