Beach Babe

Chapter 1

                           All Planned Out

"Yes mom, I have everything packed!" I shouted down the hall to my mother who was always a nervous Nancy. She liked to act like she was excited for me to go off to college.. but deep down inside I knew she was a wreck. I remember how broken she was after my brother Dusty left for the military, I'm not so sure how she'll react when I finally do leave. Which is tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow, June 4th, is the day I finally get out of this town. Small town Kansas. Everybody knows everybody. Major farming community. Majorly dramatic.

Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of love for my little town. I'm very proud of my alma mater in fact, but I desperately need a change. Nothing beats a Kansas sunset but I wouldn't mind seeing the sun rest on the ocean. Saying I'm excited for California would be an understatement.

I had worked my butt off the last 4 years for scholarships and jobs around town. I'm moving to California this summer to explore, get settled in, and declare residency (who wants to pay a ton for out of state tuition?). Besides, they have amazing nursing programs there. I'd visited before, as my Grandma Janie lives there, but my dream was coming true. California always held a special place in my heart.

More importantly, I need an escape. All I've ever known is this tiny town. I've gone to school with the same people since preschool. It was a blessing to graduate with my so far lifelong friends but I'm ready for something new.

I especially wanted to get away from my ex. I know I know.. running away from your problems isn't going to fix anything but it was worth a shot. My now ex, Jordan, and I dated for 3 1/2 years. It was great while it lasted. I was almost sure I was gonna marry the guy. Well I found out he had cheated on me.. multiple times. First time, I forgave him. Which was completely stupid on my part. Little did I know the "first time" wasn't his first time. He cheated way before that and it never stopped either. I blamed myself for a long time too. I wanted to remain "innocent" until marriage and thought that because I wasn't putting out he was bored and had no choice.

Boy was I wrong.

I finally cut things three months before graduation. I still agreed to go to prom with him because I didn't want to deal with the trouble of finding a new date. He took that as a "we still have a fighting chance" and tried to hook up with me. When I turned him down he left, got drunk, and hooked up with some willing chick from the town over. He apologized again and again but I knew my worth and ignored him. Even though he hurt me.. I still loved him. He gave me every reason to hate him but I just couldn't. Seeing his face everyday in the hallways made it hard and we had a lot of classes together too. I tried my best to steer clear of him and his friends to help the healing process. Jordan tried to communicate with me in any way possible but I just couldn't. It made me sick to think about what he put me through. I believe he loved me too but just not enough. He was a lustful guy.. and being the high school "star" of the town he always got what we wanted. Never realized what he had.

Until he lost it.

He spiraled rather quickly after our breakup. He drank all the time and got caught taking some prescription pills hopes to improve his performance in sports. He lost his full ride scholarship to play football at a big university.. though he was still invited to play on the team, just had to pay his own way. Which of course wasn't an issue because his family had tons of money. He acted stupid all the time and hooked up with anything that walked. He texted me every weekend saying "I'm sorry.." never explaining why but I knew. As if I cared. Well I did but I had to act like I didn't.

It was after my messy breakup, which was the talk of the school since we were the "it" couple, that I decided boys are dumb and school is good. Simple enough, right? I'd stay single and focus on nursing. Trust isn't something I would just hand out anymore either. Dating was flat out ruined for me.