Bed Buddies

Rejection

~Ian~

I was jumping around the house frantically.

In life sometimes, we make these new discoveries about ourselves which changes it's course forever.

And most of the times we fear one thing- rejection.

It was similar to the time when I first realised I was bisexual after I had kissed my best friend in school in the heat of the moment at a random party.
He had freaked out and humiliated me in front of everyone present while I stood there with my head hung low, not because of shame, but because I was trying to figure out why I did it and why I wanted to do it again.

Since then, I had hated kisses because of obvious reasons,
1. I had lost my best friend
2. I felt messed up in my head
3. I got rejected, something my body is not functioned to digest and,
4. I fell in love.

~Noah~

I know I saw it not coming but I still couldn't help but feel disappointed when he didn't kiss me.

Because I so wanted him to, when he dropped me home and even walked me to the door!
I had thought of making a move myself but I feared that he'd turn his head away like the first time, and that was the worst rejection I'd ever gone through. And honestly, I didn't think I could handle any more of being rejected. I was just going to try to be satisfied with what I got.

So we simply said goodbye at my door. I looked into his eyes, smiling, silently thanking him for taking the initiative of being a friend of mine, even if I wanted him to be so much more.

"Thank you...for...uh..." he began and I squeezed his arm casually, but immediately pulled my hand back when I saw his facial expression change. It was surprise, a good surprise or a bad surprise, I couldn't figure out.

"I-It's fine. Thank you for the..." I trailed not knowing what to call it. If I named it a date, I thought he'd freak out.

"I had a great time today." He cut in.

I smiled.
"Me too."

"See you," he said, smiling back, the smile I had only started to become acquainted with, the smile that made me blush, the smile which was priceless.

I nodded and he walked back to his car and drove away.
I bit my lip, watching his car disappear.

Really, this date was the best I had ever had. I hadn't gotten so comfortable with any boy on the first date, especially somebody like him with whom I had a completely opposite relationship earlier.

As much as he tried to be feeling-less, I knew he was soft inside. He was really good at hiding the massive emotional tension he was going through in real. I didn't like to see him stressing over his family issues, but I loved to see him open up to me.

I also did not expect him to empathize with my situation but he was genuinely concerned about me losing my family and did not refrain from expressing how baffled he was by my parents' cruelty.

He was not the Ian I knew before. He was a good person.

I think we kind of would've been awesome together if there were any chances of us dating.