Chapter 30

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I didn't know what to do or say. Standing there frozen, I waited for him to say something first. When he didn't, I pushed him away from me and began my way up the stairs. "I'm sorry," "About which part Niall? The incident at your house? The situation at the canteen? Ooh, or maybe it was the fact that you threw all of my stuff!?" Towards the end of my little rant, I sent him a glare; I was able to picture daggers being thrown at him. I was just so unbelievably annoyed and angry! "About everything.  I'm just so sorry." Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply.

Once my eyes had fluttered open, Niall's face was just inches away from mine. His eyes kept darting to my lips, but he didn't say anything. I was captured under his spell, lost in his eyes, captivated by that strong Irish accent and ocean blue eyes.

No.

No, no, no.

This was wrong, I could put an end to it.

Slapping him, I turned on my heels and raced up the stairs. Soon enough, I had gotten ready for bed. Ashton and I were curled up together under the duvets, his hot breath tickling my ear as he whispered funny things to me. It's a thing that we usually did. We would lay under the covers at night and watch videos, share stories, whisper some funny things in general. "I love you,  so so so much." Pulling me ever closer to him, his arm was draped around my waist as I rested my head onto his bare chest. The touch of his feathery, soft hand sent shivers travelling down my spine and into my legs.

~

I hadn't slept a wink. Not even Ash's steady breathing had helped me! Slowly lifting his arm from my waist, I swung my legs over the bed and checked the time on my phone. 3:17 am.

Trudging down the stairs tiredly, I was cautious and careful as to not wake anybody up. As I made my way down the last few steps, I could hear the soft buzz of the tv and a few voices coming from it. "Who the hell would be watching tv at this time?" I thought to myself. Shrugging it off, I decided that I would walk into the kitchen first to quench my thirst. The soft sound of my bare feet was the only soumd I heard as I walked through the dark. I wasn't even bothered to turn the lights on; I could probably make it around my house and find everything blindfolded.

Grabbing a glass from the cupboard on top of the counter, I began to pour water from the jug - my hands were shaking ever so slightly. "Hey," A thick Irish accent sighed from behind me. Flickering the kitchen light on, I was shocked at what I saw.

A drunk Niall stood in front of me, holding a bottle of beer. His hair stood up in all directions, messy and ruffled. His eyes were also bloodshoot red, and he stood there shirtless and shivering. Prying the bottle away from his hands and gently placing it onto the counter, I turned back to face him. "Niall, what's wrong? We can sit down and have a conversation, just please stop drinking." Diverting my gaze behind him, I saw another two empty bottles of beer sitting on the coffee table in the living room.

Taking my hand in his and intertwining our fingers, he lead me to the sofa and began: "Jo, I'm in love with you. Since the moment that I first met you, I knew that I had to make you mine. All of those mean things that I did to you back at school or where ever, it was out of anger. I couldn't take it, knowing that you didn't belong to me and that I couldn't call you my love. I need you!" By this point, I didn't know what to make of his slurred words. His icy, cold hands still held on to mine, as if he was hanging on for dear life.

"Please..." I didn't have the time to respond, as he slowly leant forward. Why couldn't I stop myself this time? I could just push him away and be done with this. I couldn't bring myself to do it though, as I stared into his lifeless, pleading eyes. Before I knew it, his tender lips fell onto mine and I could feel his arms once again snake around my waist. At first, I didn't kiss back, but he pulled away looking hurt before trying again. That was when I was captured. I didn't know how to control it, but as soon as our lips touched for the second time, sparks flew everywhere. Placing my hands onto his chest and pushing him away, he just held on to my wrists and continued to kiss me for a few more seconds.

We broke apart, and the reality of the situation had hit me like a sudden punch to the heart, or a kick in the stomach. I felt horribly sick, not from Niall, not from anybody or anything... except me. I felt so disgusted at myself for doing this to Ashton. I ran as fast I could towards the bathroom, not bothering to close the door behind me.

Puking up all of the remains of what I had eaten, I felt two hands wrap around my hair, holding it back.

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