His Lover, My Mate

Twelve: Unknown

Her body grew tense and she watched him too, wondering what was going through his head. What did he want to tell her?

Finally when his scrutiny was done, he took a step back and nodded to the direction of the small table. "Come, sit." He placed a hand carefully behind her shoulder, on top of her hair to prevent the blood in his hand from smudging her dress.

Her curiosity was burning her now. Why was there so much blood on his hand? As she sat and watched how he withdrew his hand, she finally realized it was his own blood. Her breath hitched, and he noticed.

"Don't worry about it. It was Kyla. I needed to feed her before she went up to you." Then with a much softer voice: "I didn't want her to hurt you."

Aletha swallowed. She wasn't used to any of this, and hearing him speaking as if a blood offering from him was a matter-of-fact occurrence set her on edge. It was close to cannibalism, and that terrified her. Did they also eat the flesh of their prey?

Rush began to chuckle. "You're scared," he observed, sitting beside her. His body arched toward her. "Do I terrify you, love?"

"You disturb me," she answered. "And perplex me."

"And anger you. Perhaps even sadden you," he added, his mouth perking up. His eyes were on her throat now and his smile grew wider. "And as much as you hate to admit it, I do frighten you."

"What do you want?" she asked shakily.

"What do I want?" he said, releasing a breath. "I want many things." It occurred to her that he hadn't been remotely breathing from the time she came in until now. He had been utterly silent, except when he spoke. She didn't hear him breathe. No, she only heard her own labored breathing because the presence of him agitated her. It made her nervous, panicked. He was the unknown, and the unknown was unpredictable.

"What do you want from me?"

His hand moved toward her. Her heart stopped for a second as she zeroed in on his fingers inching closer. Only, he didn't touch her. He touched the tray of food and pushed it toward her. "You should eat," he said.

She made no effort to touch the food. "You didn't answer my question."

"Your question has many answers. I can't settle on one." He paused, looking away for a moment. The flames of the fire flickered against his eyes, and it looked like hell danced in his vision. "I want many things from you, Aletha. I want your loyalty and I want your acceptance." Then he faced her again. "And maybe...I'll want your heart too."

"I will never love you," she said harshly. "Never."

It should have affected him. It should have anguished the bond. Yet all she felt was coolness when he looked at her. "You don't know the unknown," he told her. She didn't find a hint of emotion in his tone. It was bare to the night, and she lost all sense of any meaning his inflectionless voice contained. Probably because a voice with no inflection didn't really have a meaning—it was cold, calculating...unpredictable.

Unsettling.

"I do know that you don't deserve my love," she hissed, pushing the tray away from her. "You don't deserve any love!"

He didn't move. But his jaw started to tick. He was growing livid. She studied his eyes again. Those cold grey eyes...they were dark, strained...tormented. "Maybe I don't deserve love," he told her very calmly. "After all, I am spawned by evil. My mother is your enemy and my father almost destroyed this world. Maybe...maybe I deserve hell because of the way I was born—the twin who would have been devoured by his brother. I would have done my mother a favor if I died that day in the ocean, and yet I chose to live in this world that has no desire to want me alive."

He had a twin? She opened her mouth to inquire more, but he leaned closer and pushed her tray back until it hit her chest.

"I brought you to my study to apologize to you in a more...civilized manner," he told her. "I didn't bring you here to start another fight. I don't enjoy fighting with you, love. I want to see you happy. As your mate, I want to ensure your safety. I'm learning that leaving you alone will kill you."

She snapped her head to him, glaring fiercely. "Then what do you plan to do? Don't tell me you're willing to invade my privacy?"

He gave her a stern look. "I will respect your privacy as I respect the privacy of everyone in my pack, but I won't tolerate you taking your life like it's meaningless."

"My life is meaningless without him!" she snarled. "It is meaningless with you!"

His fist slammed hard on the table, startling her as it jolted through her system. He looked murderous now. "Don't you dare say that again," he growled. "You're talking like you aren't even your own person. You are meaningful without him, Aletha. You don't need him to give your life meaning. You don't even need me to be meaningful. You're not a fucking item. You're a person."

"Yet you treat me as your possession," she retorted. "You call me yours, and you lock me up against my will—"

"I call you mine, as in my female, my mate," he argued. "Not my property."

She got up from the chair. "I'm not hungry."

"You can't starve yourself," he said, his voice harder now.

"Watch me."

A glare cut through his face as he slowly rose up from his own seat. "Aletha, I'm trying to understand you. You're making this very difficult for me."

"Then why don't you let me go? You know we won't work. We will never work."

His glare darkened. "We won't work?" He said it as if he was mocking her. Like what she said was ridiculous, impossible. It made her doubt every single word she said. "Are you sure about that, Aletha?"

"I'm sure about many things, and I'm sure I don't want to stay with you."

"You're not. You're staying in a chamber far from my own. I don't bother you because you don't really prefer my company. You'd rather be by yourself. I tried giving you space—space to think and accept this for what it is: you're my mate and you can never go back to Lucien. In this world, everything is fucked-up. Nothing is ever as you want it. If you don't get over this bullshit with Lucien--"

"Bullshit?" she snarled. "I will give up my life for Lucien!"

He smiled harshly. "As you proved last night." His large frame craned toward her. "Is that why you cut yourself, because you couldn't be with your love?"

She froze when he said that. She wasn't expecting him to ask about her that night when she tried to take her life. Maybe he would comment on it, but she didn't want to talk about it. But the way he was looking at her now with stark anger, she knew he wouldn't let this go.