Catalyst (probably not going to update anymore, don't watch the show anymore)

Chapter 103

I groggily walked into the Cortex after passing out in my lab last night, and I ran my fingers through my tangled curls that reappeared after my shower. Today I felt sad.

Not like a crying kind of sad, more like an empty on the inside kind of sad. Well, Finn, that's called being depressed. You know that feeling.

I could hear everyone in Caitlin's lab talking; Barry's voice pounded in my head. I was horrible to him yesterday, but it felt good. That version of me was tired of putting up with all his bullshit and finally stuck up for herself.

Do I even say sorry? Because I'm not sorry. I needed to say those things. But, it hurt him in ways I couldn't imagine.

After last night, I felt stronger, because I was only thinking about myself for the first time in years. No more bullshit, no more lying to save people's feelings, no more putting anybody first. I'm the most important person in my world now, and I plan on keeping it that way.

"You know," Caitlin said, analyzing the cell sample Barry had brought in from the field, "There's really not that much here."

I entered the lab, putting on my black beanie, because I was still freezing fucking cold from waking up this morning. Barry looked over his shoulder at me, something was different about him, "Yeah," he replied to Caitlin, "I know. It's basically touch DNA."

"Where did you get it from?" I questioned, leaning against the doorway of the lab.

Barry barely looked at me, and explained, groaning, "I had to steal it," he sat down on a stool, "because our 'metahuman expert' wouldn't let me take one."

I entered the lab, looking at the screen with the data on it. "I don't blame him," I snapped, "If I were Julian, I wouldn't let you put your filthy hands on a husk."

"Okay," Cisco intervened, placing his hand on my shoulder, "that was a ten and you need to take it down to a two."

Barry's eyes narrowed at me, confused, and he asked, "Wait, how do you know him?"

What was this kid on?

"Julian? Julian Albert?" I explained harshly, because Barry knew I know Julian personally. "Julian is my ex-boyfriend. You know, the guy I dated before you?"

Cisco sighed, "He's the best." I could tell Cisco wanted to desperately get out of the room since Barry was in it. He softly asked Caitlin, "Do you need me?"

"No, I think I've got this, but thank you," she replied gently. Cisco nodded, and left the med-bay.

I glared at Barry, "Cisco told me this morning that you showed up to his bereavement group last night." Caitlin went deeper into her lab to analyze the piece of the husk.

"Yeah, I did," he sighed, "Did he also tell you it didn't go so well?"

"It's only been a few months since Dante was killed in the accident," I explained, "He needs a little bit more time."

Barry looked around, more confused than ever, "Wait, why is he do mad at me?" What is wrong with you, Bar? You were fucking there. Why don't you remember anything?

"Are you okay?" I bluntly asked, folding my arms across my chest. "What is your problem?"

"Finn, he'll barely look at me unless other people are in the room," he tried to argue.