sauve-moi || Brallon

chapter eight ||

Dallon's POV//

I woke up to the sight of a blank white ceiling and bright lights. it only took a moment for my brain to register the fact that I was in a hospital.I tried to sit up but there was a tube inside my arm that ached when I moved. I jerked my arm a bit before giving up and laying back down. I heard the door creak open and footsteps move closer to the bed.

"Ah, Mr. Weekes." Said a short, white man who appeared to be in his mid 30's, "You're awake!"

"Uh, hi." I mumbled, agitated that I was in a hospital. "Why am I here?"

"From what your boyfriend sai-"

"We aren't dating." I cut in, thinking about Brendon.

"Well, you're friend said that you passed out after having a panic attack."

"I've had plenty of panic attacks, why did I pass out?"

"Because of your rapid and short breaths, your brain was not able to get the oxygen it needed to tell your body to calm down so it panicked and made you pass out." He said emotionlessly. "And it appears that your lack of food in your system may have caused this too."

"What?" I questioned, completely aware of what he was speaking about.

tw for the rest of the chapter// mentions of eating disorders. pls don't do this to yourself. you are beautiful and if you ever need someone to talk to, I am here. i DM me if you would like for me to recap :)

"From what your records say, you have lost fifteen pounds in around a month and you friend, Brendon, mentioned that you deny food."

"I'm exercising! I'm just not hungry!" I begin to yell, lying through my teeth.

"Dallon, you are not healthy and have been diagnosed as anorexic. Therefore, I am putting you on a meal plan and if you do not get better within a month, I'm going to have to institutionalize you." He said, giving me a serious stare.

"What? You can't! We are touring!" I yell.

"Then I guess you should get better." He says before leaving the room.

As soon as he's gone I pull the tube from my arm and turn it off. God, why did I always have to be this stupid. If just breathed I wouldn't have passed out and the show would be going on and I wouldn't have to be on this stupid meal plan. I am not anorexic. I know I'm not. I just want to be a bt skinnier. That isn't too much to ask. Everyone has things that they want to change about themselves. I'm just actually changing it.

I suddenly hear the door creak open again. At first I expect to see the doctor coming back to tell me more information but instead I see Brendon slowly walking in, head down. His eyes look up from the floor and meet mine as I slouch back down. I look away from his eyes as I think about how he'll think of me.

"I'm sorry, Brendon." I whisper as I pull the blankets of the bed on my side.

"Dallon. Don't be sorry." He says, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Baby, I just want yo to get better."

I liked the way it felt when he called me baby. Maybe I shouldn't have said he wasn't my boyfriend. I look at him and instantly feel jealous of his body. I'm just tall and lanky and have no specific desirable shape to me. Brendon on the other hand has muscles crafted by god himself. I want to get skinny for him so if we ever go all the way I'll look extra good.

"I will get better, let's just get back to touring." I say, knowing what my version of getting better is. "I've disappointed the fans so much."

"Dallon, you are allowed to think about yourself for once. You didn't disappoint them."

"What did you do for the show?"

"We played an acoustic set because we knew no one could replace you on bass."

"You're just being nice but I'm glad it worked out."

"Come on, we're going back to the bus. Next stop: Phoenix, Arizona."

The ride back home wasn't awkward. I did avoid talking about my newly diagnosed eating disorder and instead filled the conversation with fake excitement for shows. I was excited for the shows but it was just all too stressful. There were good and bad parts of touring. The good was that I could play in front of everyone and travel the country but the bad was that Brendon was practically breathing down my neck to see if I'm okay. We got out of the black suburban with tinted windows and were faced with a large hotel.

"Zack said that because of today's circumstances, we can stay in a hotel then leave early in the morning." Brendon says, walking past the front desk and stepping into the elevator.

"Oh, which room is mine?" I say to Brendon as we get closer to our floor of the hotel.

"You're staying with me tonight." He says, not making eye contact with me.

I would normally be excited to stay in a hotel room with Brendon Urie but I knew that he didn't really want to sleep with me. He only wanted to make sure I wasn't going to do anything to myself. God, he can't even trust me to sleep by myself.

"So that you can watch me and make sure I'm breathing the right amount of times in a minute?" I snap.

"Dallo-" He says, shoulders slumping down.

"Or is it because the doctor to make sure suicide boy doesn't kill himself?" I say getting heated.

"Dallon!" He tries again before the elevator door opens and I step outside.

I start striding down the hall with no idea what direction I was supposed to be going. I hear Brendon calling my name but I didn't care and just kept going. Suddenly, I feel his hand press against my shoulder and I spin around to face him. His eyes are beginning to water and I instantly feel guilty.

"I'm so sorry, Brendo-" I begin to stress.

"I love you" He says, cutting me off and looking me in the eyes.

"I love you too." I say as he pulls me into a long kiss.

His arms wrap around my neck as he stands on his toes to reach me. I can feel his tongue exploring my mouth as I run my fingers through his soft charcoal hair. Our bodies press against each other as he leads me to the door of our hotel room.

"I didn't decide to share a room with you just to protect you," He says out of breath, pulling apart from me but keeping eye contact, "I thought we could have some fun too."

I'm in love with this boy.

a/n: hello! I have been writing on my phone because my laptop broke but I can use it again now so yay! quicker writing! Gosh, you wouldn't believe how much easier it is to write on a laptop. Anyways, thank you for reading and try to stay strong. DMs are always open. Stay alive :)