sauve-moi || Brallon

chapter one || bienvenue

tw// slight homophobic slurs

third person pov//

Dallon walked back to his bunk in the tour bus. It was the third one from the ground and had one above him. Brendon, Dan, and Kenny decided that Dallon should get one of the higher bunks because of his intense height. Dallon didn't complain, mainly because he never felt like speaking, not because he wanted the tall bunk.

Dallon climbed into his bunk and rolled over to his side, facing the wall. He began to think about how he did during the show. He was disappointed in himself and it showed on his face. Dallon snapped out of his thoughts as he heard Brendon and the other guys getting into the bus.

dallons pov//

I heard the door to the tour bus begin to creak open so I quickly got up out of my bunk and stood up.

"Hey, Dal." said Brendon, "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I began, "just tired from the show."

"I get you, dude."

Brendon walked over to the bathroom and Kenny and Dan sat down on the couch. I decided to go back to my bunk since no one was doing anything. I opened up the navy blue curtain that revealed my very messy bed. I tossed my shirt off and put it at the end of the bed. I decided to look through my twitter mentions which, like usual, wasn't a good idea.

'@ dallonweekes , just stop the stage gay with brendon! gay!'

'@ dallonweekes needs to leave. ryden forever'

I turned my phone off and began thinking about how I did in the show. I did terrible if I'm being honest. I completely messed up in 'girls/girls/boys' and again in 'ready to go'. It was a stupid mistake that any professional shouldn't do. I honestly don't even know why I'm in the band. Jon was better than I'll ever be and it's been years since he was in the band.

I really do hate myself. I'm not even sure why anymore. I just feel like everything I do is stupid. I ruin everything I touch and can't do anything right. I don't know why Brendon even chose me to be in the band. I knew a quick solution to help distract my brain. It wasn't a very good solution but it was all I knew.

tw// self harm. please don't read if this may trigger you in any way. i love you all, be good to yourself and stay alive. I'll put a ** when you can return to the fic

I quietly got down from my bunk, trying not to disturb the other members who were now all sitting on the couch watching 'Breaking Bad'. I slowly crept to the bathroom and got my little tin box from underneath the sink. I opened and inside there was three blades.

I had been clean for a little over a month, just before the tour started. I really wanted to stay clean for all of tour but I knew I couldn't do it, hence why I brought my box. I shakily grabbed the blade and stroke by stroke began to butcher my arm. The physical pain was a way for me to distract myself from all of the mental pain I was feeling.

Around ten minutes later, I had cleaned up the bathroom, put on a black sweatshirt, and gone back to my bunk. It may have only lasted a few minutes but that was enough to distract me for at least a few hours. My arms stung like I had just rubbed salt into my blood. I played some music to try to calm down and relax. I enjoyed listening to Gorillaz whenever I needed to calm down. I don't know why, exactly. I guess it just entertained my brain whenever I thought of the backstory .

**"Dal?" I heard Kenny say, "We're going to go to eat. Where are you?"

"Oh, sorry, Kenny," I said, clearing my throat, "Just in my bunk."

I opened the curtain and hopped out of the bunk, making sure to cover my freshly cut arms. I grabbed my cell phone and earbuds and walked out of the tour bus with Kenny. Normally, people don't use their headphones when they are hanging out with their friends but it's necessary for me so I don't have to speak as much on the ride there.

I walked with Kenny to the all black van that was gonna take us to the local Diner. Zack was gonna drive us there and eat with us. I crawled into the backseat so I could just stare out the window and listen to music. Brendon took passenger seat and Kenny and Dan sat in the middle row.

I layed against the window and looked outside to see the night views of San Francisco and the Golden Gate Bridge. The lights of the cars fascinated me as they sped past us and blurred in my vision. I started counting how many cars went by us every thirty seconds. I enjoyed making random games to pass the time and distract my brain.

"Dallon.." Zack said without me noticing. "Dallon!"

I looked up to see all four of the guys staring at me with their eyebrows raised. Oh god, I could feel the heat rising up to my cheeks. I was probably bright red.

"Um.. Yeah?" I said, still embarrassed.

"Dude, we've been calling your name for like two minutes." joked Dan.

"Oh, ha" I mumbled, "Sorry, I'm just a little off today."

"Are you okay?" Kenny said, worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Kenny."

"Dal, what's up?" Brendon chimed in. (a/n: i stg if you guys...)

"I'm fine! Look!" I said, trying to change the subject, "We're here!"

- a/n: well that was chapter one! I hope you enjoyed !!

word count: 957