Em,
I know you'll never read this, but part of me hopes one day you just might, so here goes nothing...
I consider myself a good person, and sometimes good people make bad decisions, mess up, or let others down. That's exactly what I've done but just because I screwed up doesn't make me a bad person. It means I made a mistake and I will forever be sorry for my mistake because I know I can't fix it. You were so good to me. You would stay up with me those nights I didn't think I could do it anymore. You would always be there if I needed a shoulder to cry on or if I just needed a laugh because I had a bad day. It could've just been the tiniest thing, but you were always there. There isn't one day that goes by where I don't think about you. I went to your show, I always go to your shows and I will continue to go. I didn't go for you. I went for me. I wanted to prove to myself that I could look at you and not want to cry. I needed closure,
and although I haven't reached it, I checked one goal off the list and that was just to see you.
Too bad we aren't friends anymore, because you'd be so proud of me. I'm not afraid to stand up for myself anymore. I'm not afraid of what people think of me and because of that, I feel like I am genuinely happy.
I hope you're doing well. But I just want to say this... I am doing PERFECTLY fine without you. I CAN live without you! I AM living without you! I didn't use you like you said I did, I'm just really egotistical and like talking about myself and I've worked on that too. So, if you ever want to say hi, or go get a coffee, or if you need closure and want to slap me in the face for what I did, I am OKAY with that.
I just want you to know that, I had a reason for what I did. I needed a break. I needed to prove to myself that I could do okay without you, and it went farther than intended. You hurt me, over the 3 years that I knew you, you hurt me and I came back every time because I loved you, I still do. You unfollowed me on twitter, I guess I deserved that so that's okay.
I'd like to thank you for everything you've done for me. You were the second person I came out to, but your approval meant the most to me. Now here is my biggest secret. I knew I wasn't straight when I met you, I always denied it, but I've come to peace with it. I met you, and you were the first girl I had a crush on. So there ya go. Of course, I got over that, but...it wasn't easy. Probably the last secret I'll ever tell you.
Thank You, I Miss You!
Text Me And I'll Welcome You Back With Open Arms.
Love,
Sunshine
