Chasing Cold Sand

Chapter Three

“Sounds like a plan,” Nikki replied, grabbing a box of macaroni and cheese from the pantry.

This was how things were; come home every night, finish school work, cook something for dad, and go to sleep. It was a cycle, and it was one that didn’t include much socializing with her father. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk to her father, but there wasn’t much to talk about, especially if he brought one of those women home from work. Sometimes, Nikki had to cook for three instead of just two.

They ate in silence. Their forks clanked against the plates and the cups rattled as they were set back onto the kitchen table. It was strange, sitting at a table made for four that now occupied only two. Her father sat to the right of her. Matthew would sit across, and her mother used to occupy the left side.

Nikki’s heart continued to ache throughout the dinner. Just as her father was about to pick up his dishes to leave, she spoke quickly. “Dad?”

Her father looked at her, puzzled, but sat back down in his chair with a concerned look on his face. She knew that she had her father’s full attention, and she had to use it to her advantage. Who knew how quickly her father would lapse back into his dreamlike state, never returning to her unless she truly needed him, like then. The conversation she had with Matthew came back to her. Talk it out.

“Who are these women you keep bringing home from the office?” Nikki asked, hoping it wouldn’t trigger anything hostile in her father. But that same concerned look remained on his face.

“My clients. Bringing them here allows me to talk to them in a different setting that allows them more freedom than an office building,” her father said. A pang of anger struck her.

“Clients? Why do they look at you as if you’re a piece of meat? And why are they all at least twenty years younger than you?”

“I try to get as much variety as I can, to better my business and success.”

The disappointment was unnerving. How could her father lie so easily to her? Why wouldn’t he just say that he was lonely and needed a woman by his side, just like her mother?

There was a slight pause. “Just answer this one last question, truthfully. Do you find an interest in any of them?”

This was what Nikki was waiting for, the moment when her father would break his gaze and realize that he had been caught. He glanced at the table for a moment, took in a breath as if to speak, but then stopped and exhaled sharply. His eyes came up slowly to lock with her’s again.

“I know that I never did this when your… when your mother was here. Being in that office day in and day out makes me realize that I need someone. I know I have you and Matthew, but there’s still that part of me that wishes your mother were still here,” he said, his eyes glistening with tears.

Nikki could feel her throat close up. She didn’t expect this to come out. He was never one to let go of his emotions like that, to be so vulnerable. Here he was, this man so lost in his own world, finally confessing that he couldn’t do this alone. There was a sense of pride that she couldn’t help feeling for her father. He was manning up.

“Just don’t bring someone home without telling me first. And aim for a woman who is your age, not a girl fresh out of college, hoping some rich old guy will give her everything she wants,” Nikki negotiated.

Her father smiled, actually smiled at her. “I promise,” he said.

“Okay, because next time a girl walks in uninvited, I’m going to go all ‘parent trap’ on her,” Nikki joked, picking up the dishes and returning them to the sink. This made her father even chuckle.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure you will.”

Her heart was warm, and this was probably the most meaningful conversation she had had with her father. He went into the living room to watch the TV, just like every night, so she went up to her room and immediately started texting her friends about what had just happened. All she could hope for was that call from Matthew to share the good news, that her father and Nikki were actually starting to reconcile after their year of silence.

She wondered what he was doing at that moment; maybe he was sleeping, preparing for the next day where they would possibly battle. Maybe he was training, firing at targets to practice his accuracy. Or maybe he was thinking about home, of how he was being missed by his family and his many friends.

Nikki took a shower and lay in her bed, wondering about the possibilities running through her mind. Not once did she think that her father was in mortal danger. This night was too good to ruin by thinking of such thoughts. Her brother was serving his country and would never be hurt or killed.

And lastly, Nikki thought of her mother. She could see her now, hugging Nikki and telling her how proud she was for running the entire household. She was the woman of the family, making sure everything was done the way it was, how she stepped up to her father and laid down the law. It was funny to Nikki. Shouldn’t her father be the one yelling at her about boys?

That night she went to bed smiling and letting go of one single tear. Tonight, she wasn’t going to cry over her mother and how horrible it was without her. Tonight, she was letting go a tear of joy, one that she couldn’t remember ever being released before. Yes, her mother was gone, but that night reminded her that life went on no matter what the situation was.

Nikki, at last, laughed out loud, remembering that she would have to wake up and endure an hour with Mr. Clark.