Chasing Cold Sand

4 Part Story 244 Reads 34 Votes
Emily By Emzyli Updated 3 years ago
Nikki Dawson's life changed when her mother was killed in a car crash and now her brother is going off to war. But when something happens to Matthew, Nikki has to decide whether to follow in his foot steps or take the easy way out. Is she willing to risk her life to save her brother's?
This is so well written. I really liked the relationship between Nikki and Matthew, and I feel so bad for her :'( The last sentence was excellent and  absolutely loved it. Great chapter xD
Omg this was soo sad! Nicki was just about to lose her brother to war, and now she at least lost her mother too! I really liked how you went into detail with the car crash scene. It made me feel like I was in the book.
Wow. This is amazing. I seriously got teary eyed at the end. Does her brother and father live? And her poor mother! I couldn't even imagine what losing my mother would feel like. This is a really good story so far.
The cover is quite pretty. xD It grabbed my attention. I saw no glaring mistakes but agree with Londonandeye it does need a more interesting descriptions and details. Over all, it is okay and has potential. You keep working on it. I wish you the best, continue writing! (:
I like this so far, but I feel that you could possibly make the opening a bit more attention grabbing. I do know this is a prologue but if this is the first thing that people read, it should start with something that will grab hold off the reader's attention.
Omg! Iv got goose bumps. The accident was so real, it was like i was there! Holy cow. that was sad. Well written with great detail. Voted :)