Chasing Cold Sand

Chasing Cold Sand

244 Reads 34 Votes 4 Part Story
Emily By Emzyli Updated Apr 20, 2012

Nikki Dawson's life changed when her mother was killed in a car crash and now her brother is going off to war. But when something happens to Matthew, Nikki has to decide whether to follow in his foot steps or take the easy way out. Is she willing to risk her life to save her brother's?

ObsessiveBookworm ObsessiveBookworm Apr 30, 2012
This is so well written. I really liked the relationship between Nikki and Matthew, and I feel so bad for her :'( The last sentence was excellent and  absolutely loved it. Great chapter xD
Springgirl101 Springgirl101 Apr 20, 2012
Omg this was soo sad! Nicki was just about to lose her brother to war, and now she at least lost her mother too! I really liked how you went into detail with the car crash scene. It made me feel like I was in the book.
Emzyli Emzyli Apr 14, 2012
@chosen_one If you read on, you do find out that they do live ;) Just not the mother. But yeah, I know what you mean. I'm not very good at capturing emotions like that, but that's why I'm trying to work on it more. Thank you :)
chosen_one chosen_one Apr 14, 2012
Wow. This is amazing. I seriously got teary eyed at the end. Does her brother and father live? And her poor mother! I couldn't even imagine what losing my mother would feel like. This is a really good story so far.
CountingBackwards CountingBackwards Apr 11, 2012
The cover is quite pretty. xD It grabbed my attention. I saw no glaring mistakes but agree with Londonandeye it does need a more interesting descriptions and details. Over all, it is okay and has potential. You keep working on it. I wish you the best, continue writing! (:
Londonandeye Londonandeye Apr 09, 2012
I like this so far, but I feel that you could possibly make the opening a bit more attention grabbing. I do know this is a prologue but if this is the first thing that people read, it should start with something that will grab hold off the reader's attention.