Love will win (Kai x Reader)

Confusion

It's been so long! I hope this extra long chapter makes up for it! 🙂

Kai took a quick gulp of water from his water bottle. His eye catching (y/n)'s as he did so. She smiled softly, and went back to training.

He could clearly see she was in physical pain.  He didn't want to make her feel upset by telling her to stop, but he couldn't let her hurt herself anymore.

He sighed. As he went to her tapping her shoulder softly. A soft hand zipped on to the skin of his cheek, as (y/n) jumped. "Kai! I'm so sorry. Don't sneak up on me like that!" She squeak. Kai chuckled as he removed her hand that stroked his stinging cheek, and held it in his hand. "I'll have to remember that." He grinned. She rolled her eyes. "Well did you do that to scare me or did you actually have a reason." She asked, removing her hand from his and placing it on her hip. Kai laughed. "No I didn't want to scare. I just wanted to tell you. Take it easy. You can train but not as vigorous as you are doing. I can see the pain in your eyes." She sighed and looked away. "I am fine." She muttered.
"You don't look fine." Kai said concerned.
"Then stop looking."

Kai looked at her still, sadness and worry relevant in his eyes.
"Look..... I don't like feeling weak Kai. That's the old me. This is the new me. I want to be strong."
"You are strong, princess."

Kai's eyes widen as that word slipped out of his mouth. He hadn't called her that in a long while. Though, he can't say he didn't miss saying it. She really meant a lot to him. And that nickname it represented a friendship. One they didn't know would turn into something more, later. One that represented the past they had. One that represented happiness. One that suddenly represented, remembrance of things that they would like to forget, but would always be a part of them.

(Y/n) and Kai stood there for a moment. As things rushed back to their minds. "(Y/n) I'm s-"
"Just don't." She beckoned.
"I won't..." Kai started
"You better not."
"I promise."  He looked down.
She then rolled her eyes ignoring his advice, putting strain on her body once again.
-
Kai walked to his room, saying nothing to anyone. He trudged into his room. The floor boards whimpered at the movement of his feet. He stomped around angrily. He had messed up. He picked up his fist punching through the wall. He growls. "How stupid am I? Why did I have to say princess... it's a cursed word to her." He mumbled.

Then he paused staring at his fist. Blood oozed from the slits he created when punched the wall. He watched as it dripped down his wrists. "Why am I so mad?" He asked himself. His mind wandered as his gaze was focused on his mangled fist.

Do you care about her? Of course i do.
What if you care for her more than you originally thought? That can't be.
Then what are you feelings? A feeling I have never encountered with anyone before.
What is it? I don't know.
Love that's what it is. No. Stop playing games I can't love her. This isn't what love feels like. Right?

His mind continued to race and fight with itself. A soft voice sounded through ears. "Kai?" The sweet tone sung. He shook his head slight. "W-what?" He asked snapping out of his internal struggle. His eyes focused on the beautiful woman standing in front of him. "A-are you okay?" (Y/n) asked, her (e/c) eyes focused on his fist. He stared at those eyes the beautiful shade, clearly meant for her. With any other color she wouldn't be her. Her eyes alone took his breath away.  "U-um well... no I kinda... punched a wall." He stammered embarrassed.
"Well let's get you fixed up.... and also.. I need to talk to you." She replied timidly.
"Of course." He smiled warmly.

(Y/n) took his soft in uninjured hand and led him to the bathroom. Her delicate hands then filled a rag with some warm water. She placed it gently on his wound. Kai hissed a bit. (Y/n) flinched slightly, but continued to clean up his fist. "Kai?" She asked.
"Yes?" He replied gritting his teeth.
"I'm sorry for yelling at you. It was uncalled for I-I don't know what came over me."
"No need to apologize. I get it. We both got a reminiscence from the past.. which wasn't the brightest... and I think now is the time for me to apologize for some things... well... a lot of things..."
(Y/n) looked up at him. Their eyes meeting. "Apologize for what?" She inquired.
"I-uh... for the past. I am not proud of who I was back then...."
"Kai-" (y/n) interrupted.
"Just please let me finish." He pleaded.
She simply nodded.
"I was so egocentric and I didn't care to realize how much I hurt you. I was so caught up in my own feelings, that I hurt you, and didn't care enough to realize. And it wasn't just once. It was continual and you kept relying on me. I'm sorry for not being a better friend, boyfriend... teammate. I'm not proud of my actions. How can you ever forgive me?" He looked down tears welling in his eyes. (Y/n) smiled softly. She took his hands.
"Don't worry about that. I've already forgiven you. There's never been a time where I didn't. I always knew the good in you. You just had to find it for yourself."

Kai had tears running down his cheeks as he looked at her. He was so happy that she was so forgiving. He loved how she could alway see the good in anyone. He loved how she never gave up on anyone she knew was worth something.
-
Gently, the pair of soft hand left his grasp, being replaced to the apples of his cheeks, where two thumbs brushed away at the tears that cascaded down them. Kai smiled softly, feeling a warm sensation in his heart. He didn't understand what it was, but it was nice.

"Thank you for giving me so many chances. I really can't thank you enough."
(Y/n) smiled softly. "It's not that big of a deal. Your my best friend."

Best friend. A pang to his heart. What was he feeling. Why did it hurt? He couldn't love her. That's not possible, is it?

Kai's mind continued to fight with its self only causing more confusion. He just wanted it to stop, and every time he looked at her. It did, everything in him seemed to be silent when he saw her (h/l)(h/c) hair, her (e/c) eyes that sparkled every time she spoke. Her scarred skin that still was beautiful in his eyes. Her smile, where her nose scrunched and her eyes squinted slightly, showing a genuine smile. He loved listening to her angelic voice, when words flowed. He loved that fiery, yet sweet personality of hers. He couldn't name one thing he didn't admire about her. He adored her.

But love? That was a strong word. Of course he loved her as a friend, but that was different than romantic love. It was all so confusing to him. He just wanted it engraved I'm stone on whether or not he loved her, because it would be so much easier than internally fighting with himself whenever he thought of her.

He didn't get why it was a fight though. Was it because he was afraid to hurt her again? Was it because he was afraid to fall in love with the wrong person? Was it because he wasn't worthy of someone like (y/n)? He didn't know any of these answers. Which only complicated his feelings even more.
-
(Y/n) looked at him. He seemed lost. He had that look. The look she used to have.  "Kai?" She asked. "Hmm?" He replied softly. "What's on your mind?" She asked. "I don't know." He replied. She stared at him baffled. "What do you mean?"
"I am confusing myself. Nothing seems clear to me."
"Well maybe I can help." She smiled
Kai chuckles and smiled softly. "I wish you could, but I think this is something I have to work out on my own."
"Well if there's anything you need. You know where to find me."
He nodded, but grabbed her wrist when she got up to leave. He pulled her into a warm comforting embrace.
"Thank you." He muttered.
"For what?" She asked.
"Everything you do."
(Y/n) smiled relaxing in his embrace.

What ever was on Kai's mind, she'd hope he'd sort it out. Kai hoped the same thing. All these emotions were to much for him. His mind and heart was pure chaos. 

Kai, you love her.
Kai you don't love her.
Kai tell her how you feel.
What do you tell her, you don't even know if what you feel is true?
Kai don't do anything.
Kai don't let her slip by.
"Kai ... Kai... Kai..." his mind and his heart chanted with different things.

He didn't know what to do. So he just continued thinking. Letting the internal fight go on, hoping that one day it would stop and his intentions would be clear. That he would be able to answer the big question.

Does he love (y/n), or does he not?

Well! Super long chapter! I hope you liked it! I certainly did since it was centered around Kai! I hoped you like the kinda change of perspective from mostly your feelings and some of his to most his and some of yours! But anyway I'm working on my other books! So look out for those! I love you all.

Till next time

Peace ✌️