Learning to Accept *Slow updates*

Chapter 3

I woke up with the sun shining on face. The warmth from the sun made me smile, but it quickly fell. Was last night a dream or did I really kiss Ethan? I stretch before walking into my ensuite bathroom to shower. 

I dress in my favorite ripped skinny jeans, gray off the shoulder top, paired with gray ankle boots. I put on light makeup before making my way downstairs for breakfast.

The kitchen is a large room with all stainless steal appliance. The counters are granite, stone floor and light yellow walls. It always smells like cookies in here. I look over at the stove and see my mom cooking french toast.

“YES! I love you mom.” I start shouting before I talk in my normal voice, earning a laugh from my mother.

“I love you too dear. Now come get you food and don’t forget to find out if you need to give Jace a ride to school or not.” I notice Jace come in the room asshessaying this. I look up at him with a questioning look on my face. He shakes his head no, then I grab my keys and leave.

On my way to school all I can think about is my dream, our whatever it was. It’s to vivid to be dream. Maybe Emma could help.

I get out of my car and see Emma in our normal meeting space, under the huge oak tree.

She opens her mouth, but before she can say anything I blurt it out, “I think I kissed Ethan last night, and I may have liked it. A lot.”

She gapes before coming to her senses, “Wait. You think you kissed Ethan. Ethan Daniels. The new guy? The guy you told off just yesterday? How did this happen?”

I don’t want to tell her, but she’s my best friend. She deserves to know. “After I got home yesterday, my mom told me something.” I look around to make sure know is around to hear before I continue. “My dad. He’s gay. My mom told me yesterday. I was on my way upstairs unable to see because I was crying when I bumped into Ethan. I guess hes friends with my brother. I was to distraught to care who it was, I just leaned into him and hugged him. He hugged me back, and when I was done crying I realized who he was. I run into my room with him asking to come in. I let him, he asked what was wrong because I was still crying. I couldn’t help it, I told him. Next thing I know we’re kissing.”

Emma looks at me with a sad look on her face. “Awe hon, I’m sorry about your dad.” Then she smiles, “But, you and Ethan? Thats so cute.”

“No, it’s not. I know he’s a player. I could tell yesterday when he sat down next to me in class. How is that cute?” I’m fuming. How could she think that?

She opens her mouth to say something, but the warning bell stops her from saying something. I walk into Mr. U's class before Ethan does. I'm relieved that I have sometime before I have to face him today. Do I say something about the kiss? What if he didn't feel anything. I know I felt something. He better not ask me about it. I won't be able to tell him the truth if he does. He's a player. Which means, he will hurt me. Just like everyone else does. I can't take the chance on having someone else in my life who could hurt me. My dad does that enough.

                                                         ***

Ethans POV:

 When I go into Mr. U’s room the first person I see is Kyla. I smile makes its way to my face when I think about yesterday. She let me kiss her, and she kissed me back. Yet, she’s acting like nothing happened? I have never felt this way about anyone before, and trust me, I have kissed plenty of girls. Usually I don’t feel anything with them, but not this time. I felt something with Kyla and that’s saying something. 

I make my way over to my seat. I couldn’t be anymore happier with where I sat. She may be ignoring like she did yesterday, but at least I get to sit next to her. God, now I sound like a girl. When I reach into my bag I notice I forgot my pencils. I look on Kyla’s desk and notice she has two, why not use hers? 

“Can I use this, I don’t have any with me?” 

“Sure, I mean why not.” Is she nervous? Probably not. Whatever, it’s not like I care. I could have any of these girls here, what’s so special about her?

The bell rings bringing me out of thought. What did we even learn today? Kyla is not good for me, all she does is keep my thoughts on her and not on school work. 

***

Lunch

All I have been thinking about is kissing her again. I need to know if she felt something too, if it meant something. I hope it did, the only thing I want to do is kiss her again, make her mine.

I spot her sitting at one of the tables with Emma and their friends. I decide to just get it over with.

“Could I talk to you? Alone?” I ask after sitting down next to her.

She looks up at me, “Yeah, I guess.” She then lets her friends know she will be back. I hear one of them tell her to take her time, not to leave either of us unsatisfied. She just blushes and shakes her head at them before following me out.

Now I don’t know what to say to her. I have never been nervous around a girl before.”Can we talk about last night? I mean, if you want. We don’t have to.”

She gulps before saying, “Sure, why not.”

Before she says anything else I lean down and kiss her. The whole time I’m telling myself to pull away, I just messed things up. But, I don’t listen to my brain, I act on impulse.  

She kisses back for a little while before pulling back and slapping me. “Why did you do that? I thought you wanted to talk? Kissing isn’t talking and I never want to kiss you again.”

“I’m sorry. I should have just asked my question. Last night, when we kissed, did you feel anything?” Why the hell am I so nervous? I’m like this.

“I guess it wan’t a dream,” She mutters to her self, thinking I couldn’t hear. “I didn’t feel anything. It was the biggest mistake I have made. I shouldn’t have let you in my room. I spilt my heart and soul out to you, and all you could do was kiss me. Way to take advantage of me.” Then she starts to walk away.

“Kyla! I don’t mean for you to think I took advantage of you. I just-” I started to say but she cut me off.

“No. Don’t start with that. ‘I just couldn’t help myself.’  Thats what every freaking guy says! They never listen to their head, but they claim they do. I’m not stupid. Girls aren’t stupid. Don’t bother using that excuse on me. I won’t believe it.” Then she runs away with tears going down her face.

I thought she didn’t feel anything when we kissed? Why would she cry if she didn’t feel anything?

Pissed off, I walk into the hall and kiss the first girl I see. After the kiss I open my eyes to see Emma, Kylas best friend. Before I can say anything to her, I see Kyla with more tears in her eyes, run away. Damn it! I always mess everything up even more.

************************************************************************************************************

I struggled with Ethans POV. Tell me how it is please!! Also, I just want to let people know some of these things are about my life. 

1. My dad has had nothing to do with neither my brother nor my self for a long time.

2. My dad is gay.

3. My dad was abusive. I never saw it when my parents were married. Only after my mom kicked him out.

4. I have a little brother

5. My mother is in college full time and works when she can while taking care of my brother and I. 

Please let me know what you think!

Chapter 4 will be awhile. I'm working on getting the first three chapters edited right now.

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