If I'm Not In Love

26

Hate is a strong word. It has the same power as love. You couldn't hate someone just because you feel so. It has reasons as tho insecurities or jealousy which falls in the category of envy. Envy is the strong reason to hate on someone, maybe that's why its one of the seven deadly sins. In laws of God, we are prohibited to desire someone's property, status nor relationship. In my case, I was on the first stage. Jealousy. And I'm afraid of starting to hate on Melissa. I've never felt anything bad about her then dahil kaibigan ko siya. And I didn't befriend her just to get close to Ethon. She's just really friendly that we got click in instant when we bounds with each other. Hindi kailanman pumasok sa isip ko na gamitin siya, nor I didn't think of getting rid of her para mapunta sa akin ang atensyon ni Ethon. But seeing her now with Ethon, then surprisingly, hearing Troy saying he's starting to get jealous.. I suddenly got a bad feeling towards her and I didn't like it. This is wrong. Jealousy is a disease and I have been feeling it since the day I started admiring Ethon but I never entertained it.

I sighed then smiled fakingly at my best friend. I was quite taken aback when I found him staring intently at me. I was actually expecting him to stare at Melissa and watched them together pero eto siya, nakatitig sakin habang nakakunot ang noo. Maybe he's not masochist afterall.

"What?" I asked consciously.

He threw his arm around my shoulder then dragged me inside the empty classroom. Pinaupo niya ko sa isang silya at inayos niya paharap sakin yung isa pang upuan saka naupo sa harap ko.

"You know that I'm not nosy," he started.

I tilted my head then smiled at him. One of the best trait I love the most about him is being nosy in a subtle way. Rare occasion lang kasi niya pinapakita yan, at alam kong hindi siya matatahimik hanggat hindi niya nalalaman. Plus factor na nagiging nosy lang naman si Troy kapag nagwoworry. Im glad he really cares for me.

"I'm fine.." I assured him.

"Tell me about it"

I laughed this time. His face contorted kaya hindi ko na napigilang pisilin ang magkabilang pisngi niya. "Ang cute mo!" I smiled widely, "Wala kang dapat ipag-alala. You know, I'm not the jealous type, too. Wag mo 'kong hawaan please," biro ko saka tumawa ulit.

Napatigil lang ako nang nakatitig pa rin siya sa akin at halatang hindi kombinsido sa sinabi ko. "Did you even get it?" he frowned.

Sandali ko siyang tinitigan saka ngumiti, "Of course. You're starting to get jealous with Ethon and Melissa being together," I answered matter-of-factly.

Umangat ang gilid ng labi niya saka ginulo ang buhok ko kaya nahampas ko yung braso niya.

"Troy!" I groaned pero tinawanan niya lang ako.

"Let's go," he said then stood up and offered his hand on me para alalayan akong tumayo which I didn't hesitate to accept.

"Are you not gonna stop promoting 'chilvery is not dead'?" biro ko which earned a heartily laughed from him.

Napangiti na lang ako habang nakatitig sa kanya. I like listening to his laughter. It's calming. Yung tipong parang nakakawala ng problema. Like his laughter's telling me that everything's fine. Or everything's going to be fine.

"Iniwan niyo ko!" biglang sabi ni Nico na nakaabang sa paglabas namin sa classroom. "Anong ginawa niyo dyan? Kayo ha!" malisyosong nitong tanong.

Napailing na lang ako. Ngayon ko lang nalaman na madumi pala tong isip ni Nico. Nagsisimula na tuloy akong maniwala sa sinabi ni Troy na manyak nga siya.

"Wala ka bang klase?" tanong ni Troy imbis na patulan si Nico.

"Meron"

"Pumasok ka na"