In A Heartbeat

Ch. 21

Driving back home I felt floaty and happy. This night was perfect. As always, in the back of my mind I felt a tickle worry about Agnes. I was curious as to what she said and why she said it, but I chose not to dwell on it for now. Kyle was beside me, his arm draped across my lap like it belonged there, and my head so filled with joy it felt like I was on a ferris wheel.

We pulled up to the curb and I looked at the house, porch light on, lawn trim and green. It was a gorgeous house. My father had tried to get my mother to move somewhere smaller when I got sick - saying all those stairs would wear her out. But she wasn't having any of it.

"I'll be in great shape, that way you won't ever  have to have a wandering eye!" She said. It worked, my mom never had that over 30 spread that some stay at home mothers get. And I never once heard her complain about going up and down those stairs a dozen times a day to get me things.

When they had the chair lift installed I was mad about it, protested by staying in my room for a week; until dad let me in on a secret.

"It's not for you Cas, moms getting creaky bones. I'm just making her life easier, but the only way she would agree is if I said it was for you. It's our secret okay?"

I used that chair every day after that, just to show my mom that it was a great idea. I only saw my mom use it once, the day she fell down the stairs and twisted her ankle. But that day I sure was happy we had it.

Kyle opened my door and Buster flew over the seat and my lap to get out. He's no gentleman when there's a possibility he's going to get left in the car which for a dog, is the ultimate insult.

As he sniffed around the front yard finding secret messages left from nature Kyle pinned me up against the car and pressed his lips to mine. I felt an immediate heat surge up my. Key and my muscles relaxed into the moment making my knees weak.

I wasn't sure I'd ever get used to kissing him. Maybe if it happened every day a dozen times a day I could learn not to melt, but that wasn't in the plans. For now, I let myself lean slowly  forward, my lips enjoying the warm gentle pressure, and let myself ride the amazing moment of wonderful.

He wrapped his fingers in my hair and gently tugged, instinctively I leaned closer until my body was touching his. He stopped kissing me, and we stood there, torso to torso catching our breath and living in the moment. His breath quick and warm shooting tiny puffs of air across my ear.

Buster, tired of sniffing and standing at the door gave a short quick Bark and scratched on the storm door. As if we'd forgotten what the next step was supposed to be.

I held in my giggle until Kyle's broke the silence and together we headed to save the confused dog who thought her owner had dementia.

Once inside I fed Buster, grabbed a glass of water and Kyle did the routine scouting. At this point it wasn't necessary to check the rooms in my opinion, but Kyle liked to feel like he was useful.  I couldn't help being nervous about what was going to happen when he finished. Could we pick up where we left off on the street?  Was it possible to recreate that instant heat in my gut?

As I sat on the couch waiting there was no denying how much I wanted to. My brain may have been nervous about the where but my body already knew who it wanted to be next to.

When he finally sat next to me I felt myself relax. He hadn't questioned me today, or dropped a bombshell about his father, or mentioned the baby at all. It was a true moment of magic, just like in my favorite movie, except it wasn't a goodbye. Maybe it was, in a way. I was planning on leaving him to a normal life in just a couple days when I ran with the baby, but he didn't know that. He just made a perfect evening for no reason at all.

Kyle went to the CD player and turned it on. My muscles tensed. So there was a bomb after all,  turning the music on meant he had something to tell me, my spirits deflated as I waited to hear what he'd obviously put off until the end of the night. 

For a brief moment I wanted to run upstairs and cover my head with a blanket. Couldn't there really just be one perfect night?  Did it all have to be about tomorrow; and a reality that was crazier than a television movie of the week?

He grabbed my arm and pulled me off the couch. My muscles tensed and he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer. I leaned in, might as well get it over with. Whatever it was at least he didn't need me sitting for it.

"You're supposed to sway, just a little. Like this. And put your arms around me." 

Confusion must have read on my face because he smiled and reminded me to breathe by taking a large breath himself.

"It's not hard Cassie, it's just dancing. There's no right or wrong way to do it."

I was dancing.  With a guy. A cute guy, that I really liked. My body melted into his and I tried to squeeze my eyes closed. In every dream I'd dared to have this never even made the list. It was too much to hope for, and yet it was now.

Without thinking about steps or tomorrow or leaving anyone behind I swayed. Slow and off beat, and full on toe smashing, but I didn't care. Tonight I was Cinderella. I didn't need a gown or slipper, this moment was the fairy tale. 

"I had a really nice time tonight Cassie."

There was something in the at he said it, that made me believe it was just as magical for him.
In my mind I felt so many things being erased. Regrets of missing winter dances, proms, awkward parties where girls and boys lined up on opposite sides of the room. I may have missed all those things being the sick girl who worked at breathing, but tonight was worth every tear filled look out the window at girls dressed up and headed to dances. 

Without overthinking I placed my lips on the warm divot at the base of his neck. Holding it softly, breathing in his scent, memorizing his pulse. I may have one chance in my whole life to do this and it was time to get busy living.

His skin turned warmer as he put a hand beneath my chin and lifted my face to kiss me back, not urgently, soft and tender in a way that almost squelched the urgency I felt building.

Without a word he slowly traced his fingers outlining my face, and lips. It was hard to breathe normally as my insides twisted in a flurry of fear and excitement. He put his lips on mine slowly nuzzled his way down my neck causing the whole world to spin.

Part of me waited for the doubt, the interruption, the common sense to rush in and stop us but the slow gentle movements took away and hint of fear. There was nothing but us, and the music. My body and his connected by invisible threads of feelings and emotion and it was wonderful.

After a little while my legs got tired, and I sat down on the couch and patted the cushion next to me to invite him closer.  He leaned over and kissed me on the forehead.

"I'm going to leave before I can't. I want this night to end perfect. I hope it was, I'll call you in the morning.  Get some sleep, you look exhausted."

I sat staring at the door thinking it was a joke and that he would pop back through right until I heard his car pull away from the curb. Somehow I wasn't sure if I should be excited about what just happened, or confused as to why he left when I was sure he'd stay tonight.

I called Buster and we headed upstairs to bed. Passing the picture of my parents hanging in the hallway, I paused.

"How did you ever figure it out?"  My mom didn't answer, but I was almost positive wherever she was, she'd be laughing. 

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Sorry for the delay, and the probably typos in this chapter. Life sometimes gives you curveballs when you're expecting a slow pitch 😂. While this book is way further offline, I try and reshape and edit before posting but I didn't want to wait another week. Take care of yourself, and grab a hand. The world seems extra bumpy these days.