In A Heartbeat

Ch. 15

After a few minutes he lifted his head and smacked his hand against the steering wheel. His jaw clenched and he turned toward me.

"I hate everything he stands for Cassie. GenTech could be an amazing company that helps change the world. We started with seed germination and crop enhancement. Medical breakthroughs in microscopic surgeries and capillary diagnosing illness from a single drop of blood. But when dad saw how much the government would throw our way to do things their way he jumped at it."

His shoulders slumped like a deflated balloon; shaking with gut wrenching sobs that I could only equate to the death of his belief in the good of his father. I had no idea how to comfort him, although I understood the feelings so well, my father wasn't who I'd believed him to be, and he broke laws with government funds to help his own grief. What happened to these men who had been friends for twenty years?

"Kyle, you can't blame yourself for what your dad is doing any more than I can blame mine for everything he's done. All we can do from here is change the future. For me, the future means only one thing, to protect the baby. You have to figure out what yours is about."

He swiped his hands across his face and gave me a sad smile. "We're two peas in a pod aren't we?"

I didn't know how to answer that. I've never been a pea in a pod with anyone. Kids dying of heart problems weren't exactly filling up the wards at St. John's. I let my hand sit on the small of his back, feeling the sturdiness and warmth of another being, happy for the connection.

He leaned in and kissed my lips softly, salt tinged, and slightly dry, they still made my insides do somersaults. He placed his hand behind my neck and held me there with a gentle pressure that wasn't necessary, but felt amazing just the same.

Suddenly Buster popped his head up, tired of the lull of being in the car and made us both pull apart and share a real laugh. I wanted to both smack him for interrupting my first real make out session, and scratch him for being adorable.

As we got back on the road both feeling lighter his voice rang through the silence.

"I'm not sure what my future is either Cassie, I only know I hope it's with you."

My heart sputtered and my thoughts spun like I was in the middle of a twister. What if it was true, what if karma was sorry about my whole life so far and this was my chance to have someone on my side. What if Kyle and I got the baby, got GenTech off the trail, and made an actual life together. Big what if's, but that's how my life had always been. I've had years of 'what if I die tomorrow', and 'what if I don't.'

Pulling in front of the house he got out to walk me to the door. He brushed his lips across my forehead and grabbed Busters leash. As we got to the bottom porch step I went with my gut. Life is short, I of all people, knew this lesson well.

"Kyle", I stammered. "We have to take a walk around the block. Buster has to use the bathroom."

He looked at Buster who already had his nose buried in the crack of the door waiting to get inside.

"Okay, why don't you go sit for a little while, I can walk him."

I shook my head furiously. Trying to give him the message. I wanted to get this off my chest before I changed my mind again.

"Nope, I need the exercise. And so do you. I saw how much you scarfed down at Agnes's house. Let's go!" With that, I grabbed Busters leash and made a mad dash to the sidewalk. Buster, excited already at the prospect of more smells gave a tug and soon Kyle's footprints were jogging to catch up.

I didn't wait for conversation this time. I looked straight into his face and blurted. "Kyle, I found the baby."

The joy and excitement I thought I'd see didn't happen. Kyle froze in place and his rosy cheeks quickly turned pale. He was visibly shaking and I took a step back afraid he'd vomit on my shoes.

"What?"

"I found her. Well, I didn't find her, exactly, I just know that she's safe and that someone has her. I know how to get to her, and I'm going to."

He sat down. Right in the middle of the sidewalk, he sat down. His hand rubbed the front of his pants and his forehead glistened with sweat.

"Don't tell me anymore. Not another word. You have no idea what this means Cassie. I didn't think it was possible. I wasn't even sure any of it was true, I thought it was a test my dad was putting me through. But if you've found her, they will too. Cassie, we're in big trouble."

Anger welled up inside me like lava. Some primal urge I'd never felt before made me imagine choking him. I was so stupid! Of course I couldn't trust him. Of course he wouldn't pick a fling over his family. He didn't even believe it, all this time he was playing a game with my life, my emotions. I let the lava heat and bubble until tears flowed down my face and I let loose everything I felt.

"Don't worry Kyle, you're off the hook. I don't need you. I won't say another word. You and your dad will be very happy together. You can trust him more now, knowing it's all true and I'll do it on my own."

His face turned from shock to horror and he tried to grab me in an embrace. I pushed and smacked trying to get away.

"Cassie. I'm sorry, part of me just didn't want to believe it, I wanted things to be okay. I wanted us to be okay. I didn't mean I was bailing, I like you.That's the whole reason I told you in the first place, just in case it was true and a part of you was out there, but I guess a part of me never really believed any of this could be happening."

I forced myself to ignore the words I wasn't even sure he said. I crossed my arms and waited. Saying nothing, with Buster standing beside me, his tail thumping against my thigh and his nose now off the ground as he stared Kyle down feeling the emotional charge.

Kyle's tears flowed now, he kept his gaze on the sidewalk and spoke in a voice so low I had to step forward to hear it.

"The thing is Cassie, if they find the baby, the very first thing they're going to do is...."

"...kill me, I know that Kyle. I've been told. Also that also that they would kill the baby. I'm not an idiot. Well, except for the fact that I trusted you."

He snapped to attention. "You knew? You knew and you're still looking for the baby? Don't be crazy Cassie. Why would you do that?"

I couldn't believe he didn't understand. That baby was me. My very make up, my only connection to my mother, my father, my past. And without a shred of doubt, the whole reason I believed I was alive in the first place.

"She's mine Kyle. She's not expendable, or a mistake, or a genetic game. She's a second chance at a family, and connection to everything I've lost. I'd rather die than do nothing. I lost my fear of dying long ago."

His shoulder straightened, and he looked like he finally understood. "Your incredible. And insane. And I get it. They aren't planning on killing her though, she's the most important project GenTech has ever been involved with, they have big plans for her."

I turned around and started walking towards home. A chance to yell, cry, and kick myself in the privacy of home was just what I needed.

"Cassie!" Kyle yelled from the place he still stood like his feet had rooted there. "If you'll have me, I'm still yours. But if we do this, I'll be cut off, my hands empty."

I spun around and saw his crumpled face. The sweet boy with the dimple trying to make things seem normal. I wanted to believe that face, more than anything. I held out my hand and waited for him to smile, letting my mind rest and my heart speak.

"Empty hands are perfect for holding on to things you love. Let's go home!"

He put his hand in mine, and Buster led the way. The truth was out, the air was clear, and it was time to deliver a puppy care package.

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Not gonna lie- this was one of my favorite chapters in the book. I love the emotions I could feel writing it and how clearly I could see the scene. I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to leave a comment. And happy Monday!!!