Born in Black and White

Chapter 28

Kairi had a fruitful session with Dr. Sherman, her kind-hearted psychologist. Over the past week they were working diligently to desensitize Kairi to the painful memories she now had. It was nice to talk about things and not have to stress about what the other person thought of you or of what happened to you.

When Kairi would look at Molly she would see a very careful sense of pity - it was hard not to pity someone who went through what Kairi had. Molly cared for Kairi deeply, as Kairi cared for Molly, and it hurt Molly to see her so hurt. It also just hurt Kairi to have people see her hurt. Kairi was still very close to the pathologist and they were back to speaking more frequently, as well as her official boyfriend, John Watson. His eyes held something different, she saw a very similar look in her own when she could stomach looking in the mirror. John Watson was a practical poster boy for PTSD, though the look in his eye had faded over the years. He was able to deal with his issues by employing himself as Sherlock's partner, giving himself worth and value through saving the world from one psychopath at a time. Lestrade's eyes were wary, like a cop's eyes should be, but she saw the desperate pain in them when he'd see her sad. Sherlock of course was the hardest one to be around. He was very good at disposing of emotions, but she would see the anger spark behind his irises, every so often, causing the colors of his eyes to shift as they were wont to do.

Dr. Sherman had encouraged her to not be alone, to strengthen the relationships she had and allowing people to feel for her. He had admitted the best way to discourage people from being sad for you was dealing with your issues and learning to live a happy and fruitful life. Once they saw that you were working to move on with your life, they would do the same.

Kairi sat in her tub, surrounded by bubbles and deliciously hot water, her arm leaning over the edge and rubbing the soft fur of Appa's head as he laid by the tub. She had just immersed herself, relaxing, detoxing after her session. Working with Sherman left her mind at ease and her body buzzing peacefully, as if purged from the most recent disturbing thoughts. She knew they didn't disappear, but discussing how she felt about what she had been through, what she was going through, and refocusing her attention to some of the more positive aspects of her life, like friends and family, was helping her in astounding ways. She still had bad days of course, but her depression and anxiety decreased since she wasn't constantly holding down the abject terror of her life. She could face the emotions she felt and she wasn't alone.

It felt nice not to be alone.

She heard the door to her bedroom crash open and she sighed, realizing perhaps this moment it actually felt quite nice to not be bothered. She sunk a little deeper into the tub, glaring at her door frame until it was filled. She had to remind herself that by whatevering with Sherlock Holmes and working with his brother did not leave her a lot of privacy. She usually left her bathroom door open so Appa could go in and out freely. It seemed that only closing and locking her front door was no longer enough to insinuate she required seclusion.

"This is not of a sexual nature." Sherlock spat as he entered her bathroom, followed hopelessly by John Watson, who squeaked at the sight of Kairi in her tub and automatically turned around and exited.

"Sherlock!" John growled from on the other side of the wall, "She's bathing. Can't you wait?"

Sherlock frowned, "What does her bathing have to do with it? We need her expertise." His eyes strayed for a moment, examining the slick limbs of Kairi in the tub and feeling a newly familiar roll in his stomach. His eyes finally met Kairi's face which automatically quashed his previous notions. "Well it can be of sexual nature if you prefer." He sort of shrugged, Kairi refusing to speak, deepened her scowl.

"A bit not good you ponce." John growled from the doorway.

Kairi sighed, leaning back against the tub with closing eyes, "John it's not as if you haven't already seen me naked, however, I appreciate your more understanding nature of me trying to relax and have a bath."