Born in Black and White

Chapter 21

A few days had passed since Kairi and Sherlock's massive fight and reconnection. She had stayed with him that day, in an eerie silence that permeated 221B Baker Street. Sherlock remained deep in thought most of the day while Kairi got him ice packs for his bruising face and pain killers for his ribs.

John was happy to discover that he had not, in fact, broken Sherlock's ribs, but he had taken the time to patch him up and further set his nose to ensure the detective's face would heal appropriately.

Sherlock was moderately distant to Kairi in front of everyone else and it hurt Kairi just a little, but every time she looked at him and he'd glance at her, she'd remember just how different Sherlock Holmes really was from everyone else. She held onto what her sister had said to her about going after the normal men and being sorely disappointed in relationships. Sherlock Holmes was not normal, not one bit.

Kairi could form small attachments, but rarely keep them. This new family she fell into seemed to understand her on a level others did not. All of them had been faced with loss and death and emotional tragedy on a level Kairi could empathize with. Even Sherlock Holmes, whose dark eyes betrayed him, knew of these painful things. He just dealt with them differently than other people. He was able to dispose of sentiment and pain for the most part, but she knew that he did actually feel these things, if only for a fleeting moment. She could vividly remember the single tear that fell from his cheek when he was looking at her, covered in his own blood and broiling in shame. She reached out to him then and she refused to take back that sentiment. She would always be there for Sherlock Holmes, because she loved him.

She had no fantastical ideas of love changing the detective, of turning him into some sentimental and romantic idiot. Kairi was pretty sure she didn't even want him to do so. She was still trying to figure out what she needed from Sherlock Holmes to feel confident in their new relationship. There was no definition or terms of endearment to define what they had and she felt a little scared of that fact. She didn't think being his girlfriend was really the idea either. They shared a connection, emotional and physical, that she treasured greatly. She understood that Sherlock also held some sort of importance to her role in his life, but she wasn't quite sure what it was. She didn't know if he or she could call it love.

After that initial day, she had given him some space, for she also needed to think about what was happening. She wasn't exactly looking into the future, of where it could possibly be headed, but she wanted to understand what was happening now. She knew that playing the sort of games people play in relationships would not work well with Sherlock Holmes. She knew that she didn't respond well to them either. Passive aggressiveness, faux-selflessness, and manipulation was not something she tolerated from anyone - especially someone she was supposed to trust. She was prepared for fights, harsh words, his annoying ignorance, and her fiery stubbornness to interfere with their connection to each other, but as always, she had confidence, that no matter how angry they seemed to get at each other, they could separate and come back together over a cigarette, look into each other's eyes and find forgiveness. Its not that they wouldn't be angry or find hurt resting in the pit of their hearts, but their connection, and at least her love for him, would never make it possible withhold that sentiment. There would always be love and forgiveness between Kairi and Sherlock Holmes and it was terrifying.

She was back at work today after her America trip and her chaotic night and day with Sherlock Holmes. She was happy and pained to see that she had a stack of work that needed to be completed yesterday. It was nice to throw her attention into something that did not require much emotional thought. The past few days held enough of that to stave off any further need for it throughout the rest of her life.

She was going through security protocols for Mycroft's little band of brilliant misfits, ensuring that no information was seeping out of unwanted channels - or at least, unplanned information. It was a delicate process working for what seemed like the underbelly of the government. She had been burdened with a lot of knowledge that she did not actually desire. Things, that if released, may shake communities to their core and bring them crashing down. It gave her a burgeoning amount of respect for her father and her ancestors who had volunteered their lives to the armed forces, sometimes performing necessary evils in order to protect the people they loved and the people that sometimes didn't even deserve it.