Y O U R L I E S

|n i n e|

You know when people say that it will all get better and that you just have to wait?

well i actually don't think that's true

i woke up and it's Monday. great.

the first thing i did was weight myself to see how fatter i have gotten

114 lbs

a tear escaped my eyes

why do i have to be so fat ?

why can't i have a perfect body ?

if i were to be skinnier would jungkook not have cheated on me ?

if i were skinnier can i make friends ?

those thoughts went through my head

but even tho i didn't gain any weight i still didn't meet my goal this week witch was 112 lbs

i know what you may be thinking like:

you shouldn't do this or he will never love you either way and that i would still be ugly but for someone reason starving and cutting myself makes me feel happy (?)

idk what it is but i feel better when i do those things

.............

after i finish getting dressed i decided to take my car to school since i didn't feel like walking today

i got inside my jeep and headed of

i got there early and just went inside to get my things from my locker and i went to my homeroom

and since this universe hates me so much there was jungkook looking at me

and it's was like the whole universe stop and all cameras where on us as if this was some sort movie and everyone was watching, expecting me to go to his arms and and share a passionate kiss

but guess what ? this isn't a movie this is reality and it hurts like a bitch and i know i can't do that because then he will think of me as a joke
like if i have no feelings and as if it's ok to hurt me like he did

but he is much crueler than you think,you wanna know why ?

because,

beautiful

thats how he made the world look like to me

until i found out who he truly is and that's when my fairytales came crashing down

"hey" that's what jungkook said. just hey really is that it ? you didn't even apologize properly for all the pain you caused me.

i don't know what's happening to me why am i frozen and why,oh just WHY did i start to cry .

tears kept rolling down my face for whatever reason.

jungkook got up and got closer to me

he started to wipe my tears away, but it was no use as they kept on falling

he cupped my face with his large hands and stared at me

"i'm sorry taehyung "

"i'm sorry, you're just a bet"

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i'll update today later on or tomorrow bye ✌🏻