Y O U R L I E S

|s i x|

continuation from last chapter
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i was nervous entering the classroom

can i actually do this?

yes taehyung you can, you know you can't keep on living like this , just do it so you can be happy

as i stand in front of you and the random girl you're fucking you notice me and you look shocked. you stop thrusting into her and that's when she also looked up to me and quickly graved all her stuff and ran out the classroom.

it's just you and me now and you're not saying anything you're just standing looking at me as tears stream down my cheeks, you lean in to wipe my tear away but i back up .

do it taehyung so you can be happy. i say to myself

"i can- " i cut him off right away.

"explain?" i say in a sarcastic voice while tears still roll down my cheeks.

"ye-" i cut him of before he can answer.

"no jungkook, you can't ok just except the fact that you wanted it as much as she did ok" i say my voice cracking in the middle.

" please taehyung give me one more chance and i can truly show you that i love you" he said with pleading eyes . god those eyes i fell in love with the first time i saw him.

"no . you're out of chances" i respond

"please taehyung, you know i love you" he said i can see tears starting to form in his eyes.

is he actually being serious, does he still love me ?

no taehyung he doesn't and you know that, just break up with him so you can be happy.

"love me ? pff yeah right" i said with with a chuckle at the end.

"but taehyung you know i do just give me one more chance to prove it , please " he said in a quiet voice .

"no taehyung it's over i'm done with all you're bullshit okay , i can't keep doing this, you make me stuffer every day every hour and minute of my life , you have no idea how much i wish i was dead because of you, you have no idea how hurt i was when you where fucking and kissing all those girls and you knew i was watching you but what did you do huh ? oh i know you just ignored me and kept on doing what you where doing but guess what i forgave you because i loved you and you know that was the biggest mistake of my life . don't come looking for me , don't talk to me don't even stare at me and don't you ever dare to touch me again and get away from me because i'm done with you " by the time i was finished i was fully sobbing.

he came closer to me and leaned in

this is what he always does when i tell him it isn't working out witch is make up sex, but this time is different because i actually said everything i've been keeping in for 9 months.

" i'm sorry " is that really all he has to say?

he put his hand on my back and then his hand made its way to my ass , that's when i couldn't stand him anymore.

i slapped him with all my force.

" i said get the fuck away from me . when i said we are done i meant that" and with that i left and went back to our classroom and grabbed my book bag .

i left running as fast as i could to get out of there . i ran like my life depended on it like if i didn't i would go back to him and i didn't want to .

while i was running i was still sobbing and i stayed like that until i arrived at my house. my parents aren't home since my father owns his own company and is always busy or on business trips .

i went upstairs to my bedroom and laid down on my bed . i just cried and cried i just let everything out . all the pain that i've been feeling these past months and i was glad it was over but i knew getting over him was going to be impossible so i cried even more knowing that i would see him with a different girl making out or fucking every day and i couldn't say anything about it because he isn't mine anymore.

soon night came and i was still crying.

why can't i stop crying?

why can't i just stop hurting?

i stood up and went to my drawer and searched through all my blades and found the sharpest one . i then went to my bathroom and locked the door.

i started cutting

each cut just got deeper and deeper but for whatever reason my body was craving for more pain.

i stood up from toilet and went to the cabinet that was under the sink and i took out a lighter.

i turned it on and just stared at it

soon i put it over my left wrist and think if i should continue.

without any doubt i place it on the fresh cuts

it burns like a bitch and the pain is unbearable but my body feels revealed as i burn myself a couple more times on both of my wrists.

now what ?

i ask myself

i'm laying down on this cold floor just thinking about nothing as tears escape my eyes .

before i know it i fell asleep .