When I first Knew.

When I first wanted him

"Draco!"

We were sitting on a bench on Perron 9¾ it was still quite. No one around. Still summer break. It was late, but it was also the place closest to home. Our home Hogwarts. I missed Hogwarts. Away from home and able to see Harry way more often. I smiled as I looked at the chosen one. My chosen one.

"Stop laughing at me!"  He suddenly said loudly. 

He probably assumed I was making fun of him but never. I am just so damn Happy. I attempted to hold a straight face after he gives me an angry glance. But I couldn't keep that straight for long.  And when I felt my smile return I got punched by Harry.

"WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME!?"

I couldn't stop smiling as I wrapped the boy in my arms. And I held him close. He was so lovely. And best of all? He was all mine.

But what about tomorrow? When we go to Hogwarts again? Will things still be the same as before? Or different? 

First, Draco kissed me hard. Passionately. Deeply. Like he was desperate. Like I was everything he required. Everything he wanted. Then when I thought he ended. His kiss became slower, softer. It felt like he wanted to show he cared about me. How much he cared about me. 

His lips were so delicate. So soft.He still held my hand as his lips caressed me softly. Moving his thumb across my hand. Trying to make me more comfortable. Trying to... I don't even understand why. But Merlin- it was good. It was perfect. His lips slowly parting. Almost like he was scared I would pull away. Afraid to stop. But also afraid to go any further. Drawing me closer as his opposite hand was on my hip. He moved me closer to him. The hand moved from my hip to my back to pull me even closer to his chest. Making me feel the warmth of his body against mine. He moved his hand further upwards towards my neck. His hand tangled in my hair.  

---

I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to let go. I never wanted to let go. Harry. I craved him, I needed him.

But stop. I can not do this. I can not drag this perfect guy into my mess. He is already so broken. So damaged. I just can't break him more. And I broke the kiss.

"I am so sorry, Harry" I whispered. Watching the beautiful boy.  I still can't wrap my mind around how perfect he is. How kind. How funny. I remember every Potion lessons. How sassy he can be.

 Harry ended my thinking as he started to panic. "Why are you sorry? Was I bad? Did I do something wrong?"

Oh no, Harry. You can't think that. You were the best kiss I ever had. Your lips are electrifying. Amazing. You kissing me back send shivers down my spine. And I think I am in love with you. Every time I see you I want to hold you. Kiss you. I have wanted you since I was 11. First as a friend but later... I want you. I want all of you. I want your messy bed hair in the morning. I want to go on dates with you. I want to be with you. I want to fall asleep with ou and wake up again with you by my side. I- I fell for you. But I didn't say that. I only thought it. I couldn't scare him away.I needed him. I wanted- Stop.

I needed a second to gather my thoughts. My words. "HHey Scar head" He smiled when I called him that. "Don't ever believe that please." 

We looked at each other for a while. In silence. But not a bad silence. It was a silence where we questioned what the other was thinking.  It was a silence to make sure we were both okay. It was-It was...

---------

He kissed me. Draco Freaking Malfoy Kissed ME. 

BJuiuiefbiuv. 

My mind was racing. My heart was pounding out of my chest. My knees were weak, My hands sweaty. What did this mean? I looked at the boy. 

"You kissed me?"

Draco sighed. "Yes, Harry. I did"

I glanced at him perplexed. I grabbed the white sheets of my hospital bed closer. And stared down. "Why?"

"Because I wanted to do that since I was- like 13 years old?"

"WHAT!?"  

He looked at me perplexed as if he was scared of my reaction to this. I did not know what to say. What to do? What did he want? Why would he say this?

"And... You know. Uhm. If you want to- I mean if you are up to it. Euhm- Well after you are out of the hospital- Which is tomorrow- I would love-  Uhm- I- You" Draco stammered. I think this is the first time I saw him while he wasn't confident. I looked at him confused. Was this another prank of his? 

"youwanttogoonadatewithme?"

I couldn't understand a word. But Draco was red like a tomato. I smiled at his blushing face. This was the first time Draco felt uncomfortable "What did you say?" I questioned him. I loved his blushing. I loved his blushing. I-I loved- 

Stop Right there, Potter. It is still Draco Malfoy. Breaker of hearts. (And noses). Bully. Hater of none purebloods. He was awful. But my heart didn't give a damn about that. Draco- Was just Draco now. The guy who bumped into me. Helped me. Searched for me and brought me to the hospital. The guy whose lips I felt. Tasted. The guy with the most beautiful eyes ever. The guy who was sitting on my hospital bed.

He gathered all his confidence back and looked me straight in my eyes. "Look I understand if you don't want to. But please don't make fun of me. I like you. A lot. And I would love to take you on a date with me. Hold your hand. Kiss you. Like I just did. And someday I would love you to become my boyfriend. Now go ahead- make fun of me again?" 

Now It was my turn to be red like a tomato. "I am sorry- I- I honestly didn't hear what you were saying. I-I-I am sorry Draco"

"O Merlin, Oh I am so stupid. I-"

And before I even let him finish talking I spoke "Yes"

Draco stared at me. Like he didn't understand what I just said. "Yes?"

"I would love to go out with you Draco. Tomorrow? I mean if you still want to?"

And before I could say another word. I felt his lips touch mine again. Kissing me. Hungrily.