When I first Knew.

When I first knew I was Different

I don't know when I first knew it. When I knew for a fact that I was different.

Ron was always talking about girls, how pretty they were. About other 'stuff'. He talked about that 'stuff' since he was 12! Whilst I couldn't care less. Not that I didn't get any attention from girls! I got of girls going after me. Ginny was one of them, you must know about that.

On impulse, I told Hermione and Ron I had a thing for Cho Chang. So they wouldn't whine about girls to me anymore

But I already knew back then. During my 4th year. During the Triwizard Tournament. Cedric Diggory... He was one of the nicest guys I've ever met. Talented, gifted, handsome, brave but still helpful and humble. Everyone assumed I was jealous of him because he was dating Cho. But that wasn't it. I was jealous of Cho Chang. She could dance, laugh and go to the Yule Ball with him. I was jealous cause he was dating her and not dating me.

That didn't remain that way. Cho was jealous all the time. And she was really possessively. Cedric and I had a thing... For a while... In secret. Just before his dead. But he was never my soulmate. I even knew that when we dated. He was way too perfect.

It wasn't all bad. I still had Hermione and Ron. But it just did feel right all the time. It didn't feel good most of the time. Most of my friends are dead because of me. I just felt... Sometimes it just felt like it was all my fault. Sometimes I could see was dark.. But light can be found. Even in the darkest places.

But one time it was too dark for a while. I couldn't find the light anymore.. it was way too dark. I couldn't do it anymore. I was done with it. Done with everything.

Someone found out. What I did. Who I really was. I made up my mind then. When I made my decision, I didn't plan it right... That was such a bad day.But it was also the day everything changed. Somebody stopped me (obviously). But It was someone who I never expected to. The one who stopped me was... Draco Malfoy.