When I first Knew.

When I first knew it was him

"Draco?"

"Yes?"

"You know I love you... Right?"

He looked at me surprised. "Yes- I mean- I know. You just never said it before."

"Well now I have said it"

Not the smartest thing to do during class I realised now as he stormed at me. Tackled me to the ground to hug me. But I am glad I told him. Because it is true. I love Draco Malfoy with all of my heart. 

Is falling in love the same as falling asleep? First slowly.  Closing your eyes. Calmly. Breath in and out. And then all at once. You are off in another world. A better world It seems. It is very alike. But also very different.

Because the only difference is that love is real. 

Is it better if it is real? Real things can hurt you. Real things won't go away. If it was a dream you could just wake up. The problem is... I can't wake up. I can't forget the bad things. I will be hurt. 

How hard I am falling for Draco... I can't do that. He will leave. He will leave just like everybody else.

But Draco didn't leave me. He did not go away... He stayed with me all night. 

I looked up at him. But he was already staring at me. His hand still holding mine. Did he hold my hand the entire night? Why 

"Harry? Are you okay love?" He said worried as his hand he was still holding my hand. 

"Draco... Why are you still here?"

He was noiseless for a moment. Completely quiet. Then he spoke softly. Afraid to look at me it seems.  But Draco Malfoy isn't afraid of anything. He has never been nervous... Is he now? And then those silver eyes looked straight trough me. 

"Harry, you know- you know you are amazing right? I mean... look at you are stunning. Your ravenblack hair. So messy. But so cute.  It looks so soft. I like you as you are. You are so loveable. You are so beautiful. You are- I- You. But that is not even all. You are so kind to everyone. Oh merlin, you are even nice to me. Look how I treated you?  I adore you, Harry. And don't even try to deny it! You are amazing Harry. Just look at me."

I never knew I could feel so much. So much at once. So yes... It is true. You fall in love like you fall asleep. Only a bit at first. And then all at once...

------------

But he didn't look at me. 

"Draco... I am nothing"

It broke my heart to hear him say that.

"Harry, that is where you are wrong, You are everything."

A lonely tear rolls over his cheek as I pull him in my arms. As I hold him as he cries. As he lets go of all the pain of the past. And Inside? Inside of me, I cry with him.

But then he looked up at me. His face so close to mine. I strike a lock of his hair out of is a face. And he smiles, he smiles hopefully, o god that smile... Tears are still rolling over his face. But at least he is smiling now.

I know I probably shouldn't do this but Merlin... He is so beautiful. He is so goddamn perfect. I know he is too good for me. Too pure. But also broken as I am.  I shouldn't do this. It would be stupid.

Fuck all off this. 

I pull him closer. I press my lips against his.