The Darkness

Chapter 22

The full moon was captivating. Propping my arms on the railing and losing myself in the bright white orb, I wasn't sure what to do next. What am I doing here? I needed to leave before it was too late. There is something about this place that is slowly changing me.  In a matter of days I'm no longer having nightmares or waking up at 6am.  I moved out here in the middle of nowhere for a reason.  To be by myself.  But being around these people, has given me small reprieves from the heavy burdens that I carried with me across country. The children has somehow wormed their way into my heart helping me to resolve my anger towards the piano. The piano that stood as a symbol for so much grief and guilt. Colin.  He scared me the most. His words 'you're mine' echoing in my mind. 

"Celeste."

I turned to see Vicki looking at me cautiously. "I know I don't have ask, but are you upset about Colin?"

I sighed returning my focus back to the moon. "Is it that obvious?"

"Well theres not a lot of things that make a woman look like a lost puppy."

"Is that what I look like?"

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really."

"This is more than about Colin?"

I remained silent. Vicki moved next to me assuming the same pose looking upward at the moon.

"Celeste it's not good to keep things bottled up inside. Talk to me."

"I'm not use to being around so many people. I can't seem to be alone around here."

"Yea that's a problem here. We are a big family and we care about one another. No solitude here. Why do you want to isolate yourself?"

"What I want doesn't matter. I need to go back to my life. Where I lived by myself and didn't socialize with others."

"No offense, but that doesn't sound like much of a life."

"It's what I deserve."

"Celeste what are you talking about?"

"I don't deserve any of this! Friends... Colin... None of it!"

"Why?"

"Because.... because.... I KILLED MY PARENTS!" I collapsed to the ground while sobs racked through my body.

Vicki sat on the ground and pulled me in her arms rubbing my back. "Go ahead let it out."

I don't know how long we sat like that but after what seemed hours I had nothing left. I felt drained but cleansed. I sat up and notice that we were surrounded by the girls; Alex. Natalie. Missy and even Julie. They all formed a circle around me their eyes held the promise of understanding.

"If you are not ready, you don't have to tell us."

I shook my head wanting to relieve some of the heavy burden and guilt I've been carrying around over a year. "I was an only a child and my parents were my life. We moved around a lot because my mom was a professional pianist. Of course I followed in her footsteps and became known in my own right. I just graduated and was auditioning for a international symphony when my life changed forever. The night of my audition I had left my music. I insisted that I need my lucky piece of sheet music that I left at home. So my doting parents left to get it so that I would have in time. I was very nervous and took it out on them. I was awful screaming at them over the phone when I realized they weren't going to make it back in time. I even blamed them if I failed my audition because they couldn't get back fast enough." I let out a shaky breath closing my eyes as I relived that night.

"You can stop Celeste, if you need to." Missy said quietly squeezing my hand.

"No I need to get this out. Of course I performed and it was flawless. They offered me a spot immediately. I searched the audience but my parents were absent. I called and left a couple of nasty messages on their phone. Finally, I got a call from the police that my parents were in an car accident. I rushed to the hospital only to find out that my mother was killed at the scene. While I was performing a flawless audition, my father died at the hospital."