Impossible Year // Ryden

6

January 12th 2016 11:12 AM

it's over.

I'm single.

And I've never felt so alone. So.. empty.

Sarah took all her things and left the morning after everything was final.

She was really gone.

The house looked emptier. Most of the little trinkets were either already hers, or things she already bought.

I don't know why she took them.. she's gonna be traveling. She won't need them.

But I'm glad she took them, if I saw them everyday, I'd just be reminded of her. And I don't need that.

I'm sitting at the bar she bought me when we first moved in. I remember that, I made her a drink and she sat on the stool across from me.

She always knew how to make me smile.

I hear the pitter-patter of tiny claws running down the stairs. I smile again.

I turn the stool around so I can see the two creatures looking at me. They're probably hungry.

"You guys hungry?" no answer. of course they won't answer. They're dogs.

I sigh and set my scotch down to go feed the dogs. My footsteps echo in the house. Has this house always had an echo? It just makes everything sound more empty and lonely.

What am I supposed to do with my life now?

I could probably focus on my job that I worked hard on.

Or maybe talk to Spencer, play some
video games and drink some beers.

Yeah that sounds better.

After I fed the dogs, I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and hit Spencer's contact, hoping he'd answer and take me up on my offer.

"Hello?"

"Spence! Hey!" I said. I listened to my voice and heard how it sounded. Hoarse and croaked from all the crying and alcohol.

"Brendon, hey. How're you doing?"

"Eh, not the best."

"So she's really gone, huh?"

"yep.. it hurts a lot more than you think."

"I can imagine."

"So anyways, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come over and have a guys night? Drink beers, play some video games, hang out like we used to.."

"Ah.. I would but.. I'm working on this track the band wanted. We're working on the second track right now. You haven't been here so.." Spencer replied to me.

Of course he had to bring up the fact that I've been missing work. It's not my fault I've been depressed for the past week.

"Well," I scoffed, "Fine then, I can have fun without you then."

"Brendon, please-"

"No, you please. The only reason you're working is because of me-" He cut me off now.

"No, we paid for the business together. I don't know why you keep saying you're the only one who contributed to this project." He said calmly, but you could still hear the rage in his voice.

I sighed, "Spencer. I'm the r-"

"There you go again. Acting like the egotistical maniac you are. Why?"

"I'm not egotistical!"

"Bullshit. I'm done arguing. You're not in the right state of mind right now." and with that, he hung up, and I was alone again.

Why do I fuck up everything good in my life?

{A/N: hello it me.

WOWIE. hi.

So yes, I am back from a much needed month long break. And now I'm out of school!!! woo hoo.

in other news I'm in a new musical obsession.

Dear Evan Hansen has taken over my life. For the better.

don't forget to smile :D

~J <3 }