sauve-moi || Brallon

chapter two || erreur

I unbuckled my seatbelt as Zack was still parking and climbed over Kenny to get out of the van. I sped walked out of the car and into the bathroom of the diner. I splashed some water on my face and convinced myself that I should actually go back out there and eat some dinner.

I walked out of the bathroom and looked around for a second before seeing Kenny, Dan, Brendon, and Zack sitting at a booth. I walked over to them and sat in between Kenny and Dan. Kenny understood me best, Dan was too shy to ask me about my 'feelings'. Brendon had no problem calling me out whether it was on purpose or not.

"Hi, My name is Kelly and I'll be your server today," said a blonde woman wearing a checkered dress and red jacket. "Can I get you started with any drinks?"

"I'll have a coke." said Brendon.

"Same here." followed Zack.

"Umm... I'll have a lemonade." Said Kenny.

"Sprite, please." mumbled Dan.

"Just a water, thank you." I said quietly.

"Okay thanks, I'll be back!" The cheery blonde said, walking back to the kitchen.

A few minutes later, she returned with our drinks and left took our orders. I wasn't that hungry so I just ordered a small salad. After we all took our orders, Brendon noticed that she slid him her number.

"Ooooh, Brendon's got a date?" Cooed Zack.

"Oh shut up, she's not my type." Responded Brendon as he put the piece of paper with her number under his drink.

"Dude, she's smoking hot. Plus you'd probably get free food! Why not?" Zack asked.

"Zack I already said-"

"Come on, Bren! Have some fun!"

"Zack n-"

"Brendon, you're being so boring! Learn to have some fun and get with girls like you used to!"

"I just can't!" Brendon said, obviously pissed off.

Zack shut up because one, Brendon looked like he could hit him any second and two, the waitress was back with our food. She passed out each of our meals and left again. The food had pretty much distracted everyone from the previous argument and everyone began to eat. I suddenly decided that I shouldn't really eat this late at night. It was 11:30 at night and I wouldn't have time to exercise and get rid of my food.

I picked at a few pieces of salad but mainly just drank water the rest of the night. I looked around probably thirty minutes after our food had arrived and everything but my salad had been eaten. We got the check and got ready to go.

"So Dal, I don't mean to bother you but what's up?" Brendon said, pulling me aside as we were walking to the van.

"Bren, don't worry." I repeated. "I'm just not feeling good."

"You didn't eat."

"I said I'm not feeling go-"

"Excuse me," a young girl said to Brendon and I as she tapped my shoulder.

"Yeah?" I said, smiling, thankful for her interruption from the conversation.

"Do you mind if I take a picture with you guys? I love your music."

"Of course! No problem!" I said, moving out of the way so she could stand in between Brendon and I.

Brendon took a few selfies and gave her back her phone. She thanked us and I instantly ran to the van. I was safe this time.

back at the tour bus//

Everyone is asleep in their bunks except me. I can't sleep because whenever I do, I just have nightmares. I pressed shuffle on my phone and almost choked on my spit as Young the Giant's 'Cough Syrup' began to play. My eyes started to tear up as I think of my suicide attempt in 2010.

tw// talk of suicidal tendencies & homophobic slurs

I was going to slit my wrists and die from blood loss. That is what I wanted. I filled up my bath tub and got my blades ready. I had been called so many names that week. I had been touring with panic for about a year (in 2010) and had been called a 'faggot', 'homo', and 'queer' by at least thirty people that show. I was confused about my sexuality at the time (a/n: i mean who wouldn't be when you're with brendon urie 24/7)

I stepped into the bath and carved the word, 'fag' into my left wrist and 'queer' into my right. I then closed my eyes and played 'cough syrup'. I almost succeeded. My old roommate, Breezy, had found me and taken be to the hospital before I lost too much blood. I don't know if I'm thankful or disappointed that Breezy saved me. No one except for me, Breezy, and the doctors know about my attempt. It's not exactly something you share to the boss of your new job.

"Dallon? Is that you?" I heard a faint whisper ask.

"Brendo- I'm fine" I managed to choke out.

"Dal..." Brendon said quietly.

He opened the curtain to my bunk to reveal my tear stained face and messy bed head. Brendon frowned and helped me down from the bunk. He sat me down on the couch and looked me in the eyes.

"Dallon," he whispered with a sad look, "What is going on?"

"Bren-" I started.

"Just tell me the truth, Dal. You can trust me with anything."

"I-I- I hate myself, Brendon." I suddenly choked out. "I'm just a big fuck up."

"Dallon you are a-" Brendon fought before I cut him off.

"No, You don't understand." I said. "I'm not who you think I am."

"You're perfec-"

"Brendon I'm depressed, I have anxiety, I'm gay, I'm no good at bass, I just hate myself so much."

"Dallon, you're gay?"

"yes, and I understand if you don't want a freak like me in the ban-"

Suddenly, Brendon looked me in the eyes and kissed me. He pulled away after just a few seconds. He have me a sad but accepting smile.

"I don't care if you're gay, Dal." Brendon whispered. "You're my best friend and who you want to or don't want to stick your dick is something that shouldn't even matter to me and something you can't change."

"Thanks, Bren but-"

"No 'buts'. Just know that you are just as deserving as any other man on this planet. Love yourself, Dal."

And with that, I began to fall asleep on Brendon's lap. This was sure to be wild.

a/n: hope you enjoyed chapter two! brallon!!

word count: 1072 !!