Church Boy Gone Bad [Chanbaek/Baekyeol]

20. Eyes Like Yours

Baekhyun kept quiet.

Back in the days, in Seoul, when he yet had been a young, inexperienced boy, he always used to speak out his mind. Nothing had stopped him, nothing had feared him, nothing had buttoned his lips. He used to scold Luhan for keeping secrets from him, used to scold him for being tight-lipped, because honestly, locking up your worries and griefs would get you nowhere.

But Baekhyun kept quiet.

His head ached, so much that it even hurt to think.

He couldn't think.

He silently and continuously took stabs at his food. His shoulders hunched together like he was trying to disappear inside himself.

"Aren't you hungry, B?"

Thoughts trundled through his brain like a through train, with no intention of stopping. He should be happy, he should be joyful and glad that he could finally be together with Chanyeol, but he was not.

Baekhyun studied his plate with a definite lack of interest, then lifted his eyes. When their gazes collided, Baekhyun threw in what he hoped was his best smile so the giant wouldn't worry. He shook his head. "No, not really. It's fine, I'm rarely hungry."

Behind the masked smile he wore on his face, there was slight sadness.

He tried his best to not glance down at the elder's arms. The track marks.

Baekhyun felt terrifying. This was terrifying.

But was it really worth it?

Were the worries, the stressful thoughts, the weird churning in his stomach all worth it? Baekhyun began thinking about it. Chanyeol was strong - Chanyeol wasn't the type of guy who needed help.

And Chanyeol was doing good - Chanyeol didn't seem like he suffered, like he was hurting.

He shouldn't be worrying, right? He should be enjoying his time. Baekhyun mentally convinced himself that those marks didn't and shouldn't mean anything. Maybe they had always been there-

"Alright, I'll believe you, babe," Chanyeol sighed before he continued, "anyway, there'll be a pool party tonight. No strangers this time, so don't worry," he grinned, his eyes with a mischievous glint that seemed to reflect the corners of his mouth. "Only the crew will be present. Sounds fun, doesn't it?"

Baekhyun blinked. It did. He thought about it, concluding that he was in need of a nice distraction anyway.

He had never had a pool party before and the adventurous part of him that had only recently developed couldn't help but wonder.

Instead of breaking his head he should be rather enjoying this trip. Baekhyun and Chanyeol; they weren't emotionally attached to one another. So why was he even thinking at all?

And as soon as Chanyeol gave him that smile, his fear whisked away like a bunch of leaves caught in a heavy gust of wind, and instead, his heart fluttered. That was also when Baekhyun finally knew,

it wasn't worth it.

"Ah, can't wait. I'll need to ask someone for some swim shorts, though."

Baekhyun decided he shouldn't care.

Baekhyun believed that Chanyeol was fine.

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