Philophobia - Phan

Chapter 1

I sank comfortably into my sofa-crease, grabbing my laptop and opening google and searching:

Youtube

I found a fall out boy song I hadn't heard yet and would let it auto-play after that. I then opened wikipedia.

Look, okai, it's not like I do this all the time I just like knowing stuff.

Well, I do do this all the time, but... ack! That's not my point.

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I spent countless hours clicking hyperlinks on wikipedia articles, to new articles. It always seemed to come back to a new phobia I hadn't heard of yet. I loved knowledge and phobias are just knowledge.

Plus, now I read this kind of stuff I know I'm philophobic.

'You and me are the difference between real love and the love on TV...' I muttered, along to 'Where did the party go' by Fall Out Boy. Suddenly, I heard a knock at the door. 

Probably the postman or something, I don't have any friends. All good though, I don't want any.

I got up and shuffled over to the door. My head was filled with thoughts of automatronophobia, the fear of anything that falsely represents a sentient being. So, like ventriloquist's dummies, wax figures, animatronics, etc, etc.

Chris had hated Madam Tussauds, maybe he was automatronophobic...

I shook the thought of Chris out of my head. He was not my friend.

He was NOT my friend.

I don't have friends, they lead to pain.

Mum and Dad had been friends before-

Knock, knock.

Oh, shit, right, I was getting the door.

I opened it and instead of the familiar blue jacket, I was greeted by an obnoxiously purple t-shirt.

I looked up, and saw two piercing blue eyes.

Jesus Christ, who's this?

'Hi!' he waved at me. I shrank backwards. Look, I don't hate people. People are pretty (A/n Soft and) neat actually, they got men on the moon, cured diseases, etc, etc. What I hate are friends. So, when a guy with a matching fringe to you and baby-blue eyes turns up at your door looking all friendly and bouncy, anyone like me would freak. But, so far he hadn't made any advances to try to be friends, so I gave him a chance.

'H-hi.'

'Shy, huh?' he giggled. I shivered. Was that the phobia? I... I'd never shivered because of it before... 'Hello?'

'Huh? O-oh, hi.'

'I'm Phil, I just moved across the hall! What's your name?'

This was getting uncomfortable... 'Dan.'

'Hmm... I like it! Dan, like Daniel?' I nodded awkwardly. 'Well, Dan, I hope we can be friends.'

Friends.

The word reverberated around my head, every time it hit the side another shot of fear was let loose in my stomach.

Unable to control myself, I started shaking, wanting to just run back into my sofa crease and go back on wikipedia like normal, not having to talk to someone who had an interest in being friends...

'Dan? HelloOo?' Phil joked, but instead of laughing like I would have 2 years ago, I burst into tears.

Like, actual, streaming, salty, I'm-all-up-in-your-mouth tears. Simultaneously embarrassed and terrified beyond words, I slammed the door and ran back to my sofa crease. I heard an, 'Ooookai then.' I just cried harder, grabbing a cushion and burying my face in it. I let out a scream, long and pure, even if it was muffled.