Trained To Kill

seven: ruined.

The millions of thoughts attack my head as he leaves me dumbfounded on the couch to put away his drink. I’m not dumb, I know his story obviously means that the girl he was in love with was me, but it still doesn’t make a single bit of sense to me. Plus I’m still in denial that that could even be true. I mean, you would think that no matter what a person was injected with, having such a strong history with another person would override it.

It can’t be me. It can’t be.

He comes back and sits on the couch again, running his hand over his face and sighing. “Go.” He says, already understanding the millions of questions I have.

“So that girl was me?”

He nods seriously.

“I was the girl from your story? I’m the girl you-“

“Yes, Karma. Yes.” He shoots daggers at me with his eyes. I wish he wouldn’t be so serious now, he’s been so… not serious all the other times.

“But… I grew up in New York. You said you were from-“

“They relocated you.”He says. My heart pumps inside my chest and I swear it feels like I’m about to pass out, or die from asphyxiation. “Breathe, mami.” He says casually.

“I can’t Jacob.” I stand up and begin pacing. “What you’re telling me right now can’t be true. A person can’t just.. forget about their entire life because of some… some shot.” I panic. I feel betrayed. Angry. Something has been stolen from me. Against my will. These people, whoever they are, really are monsters. Imani was right, we need to get the hell out of here.

He stands up and starts trying to get me to stop pacing, but I’m not having it. “Don’t touch me.” I warn him. “Don’t touch me.”

He touches me anyway. Grabbing my shoulders roughly, he jerks me towards him causing me to slam into his chest. Ow. “Calm down.” He demands. The quiet in his voice acts like medicine, and successfully gets me to breathe like a normal person. “Yes, I understand how you’re feeling. There’s nothing you can do about it though. I only willingly told you because I know about your little crush on me, and it was important you knew how dangerous it is.”

“My little crush on you???  You were freaking in love me!” I say and try to wriggle out of his hold but it does not work.

“Yes. I was.” He sighs and releases me. “But I can’t be anymore because that’s exactly what they want. They want for me and you to fall in love all over again, that way they can whisk you away like they did last time to show me that they’re in control. That’s why you’re here.”  He lets me go slowly.

“Oh.” I say quietly.

“Don’t worry. I’m not going to let that happen.” He frowns. We just stand there for a moment, neither of us exactly sure what to do.  My mind still races against itself to make sense of the things I’m hearing. “Mami.” He says bringing me back to reality. His hand lifts up to my face and slightly caresses my cheek. “Think you can handle me kissing you this time?” A smirk.

I nod my head yes and he goes for it. Forcing his lips soft lips against mine, our bodies press tightly together. He grips my waist harder, his fingertips digging so tightly into my hips it’s almost painful. I wince a little at it. “Did I hurt you?” He concerns.

“No don’t worry about it.” I say, desperate to have his lips on mine again. The feeling is electrifying, running through my entire body, making me feel more alive than I ever have. He grips my thighs and effortlessly picks them up, wrapping them around his waist. And then we’re moving. Around the corner, he kicks open the door to his bedroom. I’m thrown on the bed. My heart rate immediately speeds up, afraid of what might happen next. He can obviously tell, because he chuckles into the kiss. “I-I-I’m a virgin.” I stutter embarrassingly.