Trained To Kill

five: karmex.

I find myself growing more afraid each and every day I spend time here. I feel like I’m going crazy. Surrounded by all these white walls, I have nothing to do but to get to know myself. And the truth is, I don’t know who I am anymore. Plus, the thought of Jacob has been driving me crazy. Even though he’s irritating as all get out, I can’t stop thinking about him. I don’t know why I’ve come to like him the way I do, but I know that it’s sending me even further into insanity. Further than I thought possible.

-Karma

--

At night, I’m in the room by myself. For the past week, I haven’t been hanging out with Jacob anymore. He asks me to each and every day, and every day I decline. I’m just so irritated with him and him not answering any of my questions and his hidden little messages in everything he says. Imani and I have definitely grown closer. But at night, she spends a lot of time sitting in the lounge talking to Jaden. (hint hint wink wink). I suck in a deep breath of air and finally will myself to talk to Jacob again, because I’m lonely and not tired at all. I know where to find him.

I push open the doors of the outdoor simulation, and there he is in his usual spot. He calls my name out without even looking back at me. “Karma!” He says happily. “Glad your panties aren’t in a wad anymore and you’ve decided to come hang out with daddy again.”

I roll my eyes at his annoying enthusiasm. “My panties weren’t in a wad.”

“Really? Cause it seemed a lot like you were avoiding me.” He answers sarcastically. He sits up and leans back on his palms so that we’re sitting next to each other.

“I’m frustrated. And I want to go home.”

He sighs. “You aren’t going home anytime soon. Might as well get over your homesickness now.”

“How can you be so insensitive??”

“I told you I lacked sympathy. Sorry ‘bout it.” He clicks his tongue and stands up. “Let’s get a lil bit more light.” He picks up his iPad which is on the ground next to him, and taps it a few times. The time of day changes to sunset. He seems to like sunset a lot.

I glint at the sun and stand up too.

“So, while you were PMS-ing I came up with a nickname for you.” He smiles.

I narrow my eyes at him. He’s such a jerk. “I wasn’t PMS-ing. And I don’t want a nickname from you.”

“Ouch.” He laughs. “But I think you’ll change your mind once you hear it, mami. It’s genius, really.”

Mami? Holy jesus that rolls off his tongue quite nicely. “Mami? Is that it?” I say camly, trying to mask the way I actually reacted to it.

“Goodness no. That’s not original at all!” I’m really freaked out by the way he’s acting. I mean, you should see him in class. He’s so… opposite of how he is now. I know we’ve discovered this already but… it’s still strange. “I’m gonna call you…KARMEX. You know, like the lip stuff?” He claps his hands.

I squint my eyes at him. “That’s what my little sister calls me.” I’m sure he already knew that. Since he seems to have a freakin’ encyclopedia about me.

“Oh really? I had no clue.” He says sarcastically. “Where’d she get it from?”

I have a feeling he knows that too. But I don’t. “I don’t know, Jacob.” I’m already sick of talking to him again. I turn to leave, but he catches my arm before I can.

“Karma, wait. Why do you get so upset with me?” He twists me so that I’m facing him.

“You and your stupid comments all the time like you know something I don’t.”