Trained To Kill

twenty eight: hope is the thing with feathers.

There are several moments of silence. Her gun presses into my chest, and all she has to do is slightly squeeze the trigger to kill me. Her smirk is undeniable, as well as the fact that she’s probably over jubilant that she has won.

Well, guess what.

She hasn’t.

Even though my stupidity led me to open the door completely defenseless, my survival instinct forces me to fight back. In a flash, I knock the gun out of her hand and lunge for her, my hands wrapped around her neck. Her eyes get big from shock, probably, and then she starts fighting back as well. And, of course, she’s stronger than me, because who isn’t?

She punches me in my stomach and knocks me backwards, causing me to fall to the ground with her on top of me. It hurts like hell, but I ignore it because she is going to kill me if I don’t. I think back to self-defense training with Matthew, which feels like years ago, and think about how he told me I don’t have to be stronger than my opponent to win. I just need to find her weakness and exploit it. So I start looking. While trying to fight her off of me, I look for a spot I feel would be the weakest. But she isn’t weak, because she’s just like Jacob. And Jacob’s only weakness is a mental one. How can I find her mental weakness as she’s on top of me trying to choke the life out of me?

I push her face away as I struggle for air, thinking of a strategy to not die, but she’s so strong and I’m so… Karma.

Suddenly Hayden screams out, and when I get my eyes to focus I see there’s one of Matthew’s knives jutting out of her neck. Blood splatters out all over my face and everywhere else as Hayden falls from on top of me and starts gasping herself for air. So now there are two girls on the ground struggling to breathe. I quickly get up and hold my neck, still struggling for air and look over at the door way where Matthew and Jacob stand. Matthew has another knife in his hand, ready to launch, with a deadly look on his face. Jacob walks over and has his gun in his hand, standing over Hayden, who is rudely bleeding all over the floor. She looks at him with wide eyes just before he shoots her in the middle of her forehead.

Both of them start towards me, but Jacob is closer and the second Matthew gets within range he forcefully pushes him away. “Take her to your room and tie her up.” He says while looking at my neck.

Once Matthew exits with Hayden’s limp body, Jacob speaks. “You really think I’d leave you here alone, Karm?” It’s too hard to talk. Hayden’s grip completely crushed my trachea, it had to. God I felt like my eyes were going to pop out of my head. I rasp, but nothing comes out. Jake sees that I can’t talk and sighs. He sets me down on the edge of the bed and he pulls up one of the chairs and sits in front of me, staring. We both just sit like that for a while, until my breathing calms down and air is easier to acquire.

I stare into his eyes, and it brings a great pain in my chest seeing how sad they are. They’ve always been that way, ever since I met him, but it hurts even more now that I know what caused them. Jacob went from life being what I assumed was a general breeze, to all of this. He never deserved any of the shit that got thrown at him and is still being thrown at him. Even though I don’t remember what he was like before, or in general what his life was like, the way he talks about it lets me know that he was in heaven. Now every day is hell for him, filled with worry and stress and the constant possibility of losing the love of his life and losing his own life. Something like that would drive me crazy, well actually, I already am going crazy and I haven’t even been through half the shit he has. My heart hurts so badly for him. If I could snap my fingers and fix everything I would. You can see how tortured he is by looking into his eyes. He doesn’t deserve it. He just doesn’t.

He grabs my hand. “Are you okay now?”

I nod, because that crushing feeling is still in my throat and I can’t talk just yet.