Well...That was a Disaster

Dont be a hypocrite: deal with it

So... I'm home alone...again...
hey! I'm old enough to stay home alone!!! (Ok, on this occasion my older brother was home hidden away in his cave -AKA bedroom)
So I'm sat there watching yet another horror movie -it's tradition, if I'm home alone at night I watch a horror movie, if I'm sick or alone and bored during the day I watch Disney! Two extremes: there are no in-betweens!
So I'm sat there and (i don't remember the films name) but it's one of those where some girl gets a phone call from some creepy dude and then well... you can guess the rest. So I'm at the good bit, waiting for them to die when suddenly-
-ding dong-
Doorbell.
So, I get up, head to the door after pausing the film. I open the door and.
You've gotta be kidding me.
Nobody's there! Talk about being ding dong ditched!
So I yell: "thanks for that"
Before shutting the door, sitting back down and pressing play.
So a few minuets later, someone else is about to die because they get a phone call and (obviously) it's the antagonist.
So the antagonist is in the house doing all that creepy stuff and scaring the person on the phone when YET AGAIN I'm interrupted.
-ring ring-
My phone goes off.
So, I pause my film (killing the tension) and answer the phone.
Me: hello?
Person: -creepy muffled deep batman voice- go outside.
Me: uh... no.
Person: -same voice- go outside.
Me: why?
Person: -same voice- just do it.
Me: -sighs- fine.
So I get up AGAIN and head to my door. I go outside (leaving my door open because we all know that if some guy with a chainsaw wants to rip me apart I don't want my cause of death to be the fact I couldn't get the key in the door!)
So leaving the door wide open, I walk off my drive and onto the street. I look up and down the street... still dark... still foggy...
Remember that fox? Yeah well he's still there.... he screams again which is just lovely (note sarcasm).
If you haven't already guessed I hate foxes.
And I spot my brothers bright orange car... covered in cling film...
Yet I'm so caught up by the HILARIOUS sight of my brothers car all wrapped up I don't notice the hooded me that we're hiding under my mums car (because my parents took the train out so didn't need the car) as they step out and block my way back to the house!
(You know, I should really do cliff hangers with this book, torture you all. Oh my god, what happens next? Does she live? Does she get hurt? SPOILER ALERT: I get shot in the head and well... is it possible to survive that...? 👻)
Sorry...
So I turn around and spot these men and -ok, it's really hard to call them men when the tallest one of them was probably 5"10 plus hair- so I look down at them (being 5"11... and three quarters) and they look at me being all... man-ish...
So I cross my arms, put on my bitch face and go like:
"I mean, it's not my car so... yeah, I'm not cleaning that up but the ding dong ditching? I mean, come on! I was watching a film and I was just at the good bit!!! Was that really necessary?"
So they're all like... ok... isn't she supposed to be scared.
And I'm like... uh... no...
So they go all sheepish (baaa 🐑) and I'm just like... ok... this just got 10x more awkward so I'm like:
"Wanna come inside? I made cake."
So yeah, they all come in, have a bit of cake and me and al these boys (they're like 18 so... older than me.... by a few years...) and we're all just sat watching horror movies... ok well we got like 5 minuets into it before one of them got a bit scared and I hate to turn it off until they left! It wasn't even a scary one?!?

Oh! The title! Hypocrites and that! Ok yeah... those of you that were reading my book know that I find humour in misery... mostly my own misery but it's nice to see someone else fail for a change! 😂😂😂
😈
Anyway... yeah... no, I didn't die!!!

...or did I?

No! I didn't!

...is that true though...

Yes. I am alive.... not entirely but by definition I am living so...

Oh yeah, my brother was in his room this whole time!!! (Great brother)