Me Without You

"But you love her more."

It's easy to love someone without bounds.

You feel it and you allow it to grow and blossom into this beautiful thing boasting an array of colours suited to the emotions evoked.

It's hard to tell someone that you love them without bounds.

People build their lives around the idea that it's free and without constraints and physically, they're right.

They're right because very rarely is someone found shackled to a wall or chained to an iron ball. Freedom is a generalised normality for the masses.

But the word freedom isn't restricted to the idea of physicality.

Emotional freedom exists.

And Lauren knew she could never be emotionally free again. She tried to be, for two years she tried to rid her heart of the shackles that Camila had fastened so tightly around her heart but there was simply no escape. Lauren was trapped in the confines of the cage Camila had constructed through loving her but unlike Camila, Lauren wasn't afraid of it. She was never afraid of loving Camila too much or being loved by her too much, she just accepted what was and, now, is.

Lauren still loved Camila in a way that simply couldn't be compared to anything she'd ever felt before. Her love started from the moment she tasted the sweet honey of Camila's lips and there was no end to it.

She was sure of that.

But that wasn't to say she didn't love Keana.

Because she did.

She loved Keana very much and she did because Keana had shown her what it was like to lose love and then find it again. Keana showed her that it wasn't only Camila who cared for her but there were others in the world that could tolerate her moods and bad attitude.

Keana showed Lauren that she wasn't a burden. Keana hadn't felt trapped by the love Lauren was willing to share with her.

"You need to go." Lauren pulled away from Camila's gentle embrace and lifted herself from the ground, fervently wiping at the traitorous tears that had slipped down her cheeks. "I told you to go before and I still mean it now."

"Lauren, you know I-"

"I know you love me," The green-eyed girl nodded, inhaling deeply as she sat back on the bed and clutched her hands together to stop them from shaking. "And I'm sure you know that that complicates things for me. So love me enough to just...go, Camila."

Brown eyes caught the glossy green ones and Camila saw the once shattered girl behind them. The girl Lauren was before Camila wormed her way into the girl's heart. The girl who feared touch and couldn't speak up for herself. The brunette caught the slight quiver of her ex-girlfriend's bottom lip or the tinge of pink of her cheeks from crying.

She saw the minor mascara stained just below Lauren's eyes and her eyes latched onto Lauren's swollen lips and she realised that all the other signs of Lauren's sadness could be narrowed down to those swollen lips. Lauren was broken again because Camila had kissed her when she damn well knew she shouldn't have.

And so against her better judgment, Camila stood from her place on the floor and took a step back, Lauren's eyes following hers as she moved. Camila nodded slowly, finally understanding that for her to have any way of showing Lauren that her feelings were genuine...she would have to do as the green-eyed girl said.

She had to leave again. She had to give Lauren the choice.

She remembered thinking the exact same thing the day following Lauren's assault. She remembered promising she would always give the green-eyed girl choices and this was one of those occasions.