gone man » alex standall

•two•

-Alex's POV-

   I wake up to my annoying alarm that is repeatedly blaring. Groaning, I stretch myself out of bed.

Great, school, my favorite.

   Yep, there's a hint of sarcasm there. But it's not that I don't like school, I'm one of the popular kids, but the kids in the school is the problem. They're mean, rude, hateful. That's a strong word, but it's true.

I throw on a pair of jeans and a red t-shirt, along with a black sweatshirt. I grab a bowl of cereal and begin to eat, hoping my mom will still be asleep by the time I leave. Me, I try to avoid as much contact with her as I can, her, it's almost like she tries to come in contact with me to insult me. Threaten me. I lie awake at night knowing she doesn't love me. It's sad thinking about how there are so many better families out there.

   I'm probably not what you would call the good kid. I don't always listen to the teachers at school and I don't always hang out with the good kids either. I do, though, get good enough grades.
   Rain patterns down the window. I take a deep breath in as I walk out of the house, with nothing but a book bag.

***

He's late. Again.
I have a friend who is supposed to pick me up for school. I've skipped school many times already, the principal is going to think I'm skipping again.
I count my steps as I walk up and down the sidewalk. One, two, three. Waiting.

I'm about to fifty when Kasen finally shows up. He picks me up every morning, while we aren't very good friends, it's better than having to ride the bus.
    I start to zone out looking at the road, my head overflowing with unwanted thoughts.
"Alex." I hear faintly. We pass by many houses and buildings, the school being far at the end of the road.
"Alex?" This time I look at him and hum 'hm?'
"You okay? You're spacing off more than normal and you look like you're thinking hard about something."
No, Kasen, I'm not okay. I have a horrible home and a mother that wants me to kill myself, does that sound okay to you?
   I wanted to say that. But I couldn't. So I just responded with a quick "yeah sure."
I want to be okay. Doesn't everyone want that, though?

We arrive at school and my best friend, Matt, is there waiting for me like normal.
I hop out of the car and mumble "thanks for the ride". My black and blue book bag slings over my shoulder.
"We don't have time to talk now," Matt starts as I open my locker, "let's go to Monet's after school, eh? We haven't done that in a while."
   I nod, shoving my book bag into my blue rusted locker.
"So yes?"
   I shrug. Not really in the mood now. But the truth is, that was the cafe I use to go with a friend, but she had killed herself recently, I was one of the thirteen reasons why she did why she did. How do I know? She sent out thirteen tapes for us to listen to, then when we get done, we pass it onto the next. Each explained what the person did to her. Some called her overdramatic, or said "she killed herself for attention", but if someone takes their own life, that's a huge risk to take and it's not about attention, it's about what happened in the person's history.
   I did something I completely regret to her, Hannah. Its my fault too.
"What?" Matt asks and I give a confused look, slamming my locker closed.
"You just whispered 'it's my fault too'. You okay?" The bell rings and I roll my eyes.
"Do I look okay to you?" I burst and speed-walk down the hall.