Dear, No One

What Now ?

Delainy

I felt kind of bad about this whole thing.  but I needed him more than she did. shit, more than she does. I could tell he cared about her, like he used to care about me. He used to look at me the way he looks at her. I just want him back. Me and him been broke up, but we ain't never stop fuckin around. Its just hard seeing him fall for a girl he knew for two years as'sum. hell, I even stooped so low as to tell him I was carrying his child. I'm carrying a life but I'm not sure if he is the dad. its just confusing, if this baby doesn't belong to him she won't grow up with a daddy. not only that, but I know he will end whatever me and him got together. he the only boy I trust, though he doesn't trust me. One night me and one of his friends fucked, and he walked in. I found out I was pregnant with his friends baby, but I wasn't ready for a baby. I hit the clinic not even letting no one know about the destruction of an innocent life I just caused. it was a feeling of utter despair, and I vowed to myself I would never go through it again.

how do you let someone go, who you have loved for 4 years, to some bitch he met 2 years ago? you don't. so I wasn't about to let that happen. I refuse.

Carter

I watched the woman I came to know and love walk out of my life. I didn't know how to feel. she was my end and my beginning, and I couldnt help but think... I lost her.

why was I fuckin with Delainy anyway, she know she will never be what she once was to me. She knew I wanted Aujanee, and that was killing her.

I hopped in my car and headed off into the busy streets of Atlanta, I needed Aujanee, I can't loose her.

I found my self taking side streets to her house. someone ran scraight into a semi truck on s.r 40. Smh, that's crazy. I tried calling ms. Yolanda because I knew if I tried to call Aujanee, she would be hurt, crying, on the phone, and trying to drive. She can't even multitask let alone do 3 things at the same damn time, feel me? I pulled up into her driveway, took A deep breath and got out of my car. I walked into the house where I was greeted by the sweet aroma of Puerto Rican food. I yelled for Aujanee only to here her mother yell back "be quiet! Mi mijito is sleeping " talking about Markel big baby ass.

"my bad ma. but Uhh... is Aujanee here?"

"no mijo, she went to see you! you both have something's to get off your chest"

I put my head down, and mumbled "yeah, I know"

"but how about some food while we wait on her arrival? " she smiled with that genuine smile.

"sure, thank you."

it had been close to an hour when her mother was shook by the phone ringing. She answered but her smile faded in 2.5 seconds. She started crying and calling out to Markel, I knew something went terribly wrong.

Markel came running down the stairs, while his mother told him to get his keys and take her to the hospital, shit I jumped in my car and followed, I was worried what if Ms. Yolanda mama got hurt assum? I loved that woman like my own grandmother ya know? I shook my head and prayed. we pulled up to the hospital and I saw Ms. Yolanda crying hysterically, and then I saw Markel panicking. I walked up and asked what was going on. He looked in my eyes and said "Its Aujanee, she was in a car accident... a truck hit her from the side... its bad." he was panting for air.

That means the accident by my house-

the truck.. the car was demolished..

oh shit, it was Aujanee.

It was bad...

I walked into the hospital, and was greeted by a nurse asking who I was here for, I'm glad Markel walked in with me because I couldn't speak.. I couldn't even think scraight.

the love of my life is laying somewhere in this hospital hurt... Probably fighting for her life. I was bracing myself for what I was about to see.. I never want see someone I love laying on a bed, only staying alive because a machine. My heart is already broken but to see that.. That would be the end of me. for sure. I walked into her room while her mother was walking out.

I looked at her. I really looked at her, just laying there. She had a neck brace on, her arm was broken, her ankle had a cast, she had bruises and cuts all over her body. The was the woman that I loved, laying there. Helpless. She was a fighter. I knew she was. God, I love this girl.

I slowly put my head down And began to pray.

"Dear Lord, only you understand my love for this girl right here. I would do anything for her. If I had the choice to switch places with her, for me to be laying in that bed instead of her, I would do it in a heartbeat. She doesn't deserve this, but I do. don't take her Lord, take me.

Lord, if you get her through this, I swear i will marry her, I will be in church every Sunday, Lord, I will never curse your name, I will live right by you. Give me a chance. Please. Give her a chance. Give us a chance. In Jesus name, Amen"

I found myself nearly drowning in my own tears at the end of my prayer. God has me here for a purpose, there's a reason I'm in this position. I love Aujanee and I will spend the rest of my life with her. no questions asked. while she is laying in that bed I will be by her side. whether it be for months, even years, I Wont leave her.. not again.