Dear, No One

Aujanee

"It may seem like our fire has been a little burnt out, we're tired. we only need to stay close, in time sparks will fly." -Jhene Aiko

Its been a couple of days since my time at the mall with carter, and he still hasn't spoken to me. I was still wondering why is he so mad. I know how he feels about Aj, but you would think he was over that. It was deeper. he even missed Markells birthday party, no one can reach him. I wanna know if he is Ok.

"hey mijita, are you alright? Carter will come around. he can't stay mad forever." my mother said with a heavy accent while rubbing my back. I couldn't help but think, what if he wouldn't come around? what if this really was the straw that broke the camels back? what if something I thought was so little, was really big? What if I lost Carter? I couldn't have that thought weighing heavy on me without my eyes beginning to water. Carter was my bestfriend. Carter was my everything. I love Carter. I can't loose him over a nigga who might not even be worth the time of day.

I looked at my mom for a good minute, stood up, kissed her cheek and whispered "I won't loose him. not now, not ever" every word came with a tear. she grabbed me and hugged me tight. then, nodded in approval. I grabbed my keys, and headed for the door. Emotions flooded throughout my body. I think I love Carter Thompson. I think I'm in love with my bestfriend. I tried his cell, but it went straight to voicemail. I was rushing to his house, he needed to know how I felt. He needs to know that I ain't settling for nobody but him. I needed to know how he felt. I was nervous,I counted every stop light getting closer to his house. my phone started ringing, but I let it ring. I needed to see carter. I pulled up to his driveway to see his car, so I knew he was home. I walked up the front stairs retrieving the key to his house that he gave me. I opened it with a smile. I walked in, looking around I saw no one, I walked further to the back where the rooms were located only to hear a noise. I couldn't describe it. I walked in to his room and found Delainy on top of him, moaning.

what the actual fuck did I just witness.

she gasped at the sight of me and grabbed the blanket to cover her naked body. I wanted to grab that bitch by her hair and drag her outside to beat the shit out of her, nude and all, but I couldn't. before I knew it I felt a stream of warm tears trickle down both sides of my face. I had to turn and walk out. I couldnt let this bitch think she got the best of me, though she did. I ran down the front porch steps grabbing my keys from my Calvin Klein handbag and wiping away my uncontrollable tears. how could he do that.. after all he said about her. After all we talked about. why.

"Aujanee, wait!"

I kept walking down his never ending driveway trying to get to my car.

"Aujanee! please here me out!" Carter said while grabbing my arm and facing me towards him.

I couldnt take it. I bursted out into tears looking at his face. The face I came to know and love. The face that I would never forget, as long as I live. Carter Thompson's face. I just looked at him shaking my head. why would he do this.

"let me go!" I said in between breaths.

he looked at me "you Want me to let you go? let you go, out of my life? because once you leave this driveway, you and I both know how different its going to be. you and I both know we will never forget this exact moment. Your hurt, and i did this to you. these tears are because of me. I'm so sorry Aujanee, I'm sorry." he grabbed me and pulled me into a hug while I was still breaking down. every single word he spoke would leave an unbearable pain in my heart. he knew he hurt me.

I looked at him with blood shot eyes and tears still streaming down my face and shook my head "I see it in your eyes, you have so much to say, Carter, but please save it. Just let me go... " more tears filled my eyes "just let me go.."

He looked at me and at that moment he knew the damage he caused. he slowly let go of my wrist, his eyes were screaming a million things, but his mouth was silent. he loved me. I knew he did. but I was slowly walking away. slowly walking away from what used to be my dream. I was walking away from my destiny. I was walking away from the man I loved, and from the man who loved me. But how can someone just forget they walked in on that same man having sex with a woman you hated? they can't. before I knew it I was sitting in my car with my head in the steering wheel, just crying and thinking. I wiped my tears and started my car I looked up to see carter standing at the end of the driveway looking at me. I had to leave before I did what I wanted to do, because my sadness turned to anger in a hot second. I wasn't angry with him. but with Delainy. she put him through hell, and I hate that bitch. I put my car into reverse and slowly pulled out of the driveway. once I was on the road, I started looking for my phone so I could plug it in to the radio. it fell on the passenger side floor. I approached a red light and put my foot on the break and reached for the phone. But my foot slid from the brake to the gas pedal and before I could hit the brakes, everything happend at once. As I sat there with pain flushing through my body, I realised I was floating in and out of consciousness, until I finally just closed my eyes, the pain stopped. the noise was gone. I wasnt hearing screaming anymore.