Nadeshiko

Chapter Five

The room in the attic was always cold and dark. Silence filled the room. The atmosphere in this room is always gloomy. But not when there's someone present. Someone who tries her best to make it look like a happy place. Urshu turned about, unable to sleep. Because if she sleep, she'll remember the things that she doesn't want to remember. Painful things that she couldn't bring herself to see and feel. She gave a small shiver and tried to suppress it. "It's cold. Even with the blankets, it's still cold. Why? Back then, it's cold too. It's just the same as now. Except that...there's no evil demons here."

She hugged herself tightly and rubbed her almost-numb arms. The room was almost empty except for a bed, dressing table and closet. That's about it. Some parts of the walls are peeling. Old paint which was about a decade ago was coming off in long strips. This room wasn't used often so that explains why this room lacked furniture and had peeling walls. "But that's alright. Back at home, it's far more worse than this. I should be grateful. But-"

She turned towards the corner and her face crumpled a little. It looks like she's about to cry. "Why won't you appear, Freya? Why.. are you still running away from me? Please, I really, really miss you. I miss the warmth of your touch." A tear ran down her cheek and it was followed by more. Soon, she's really crying. Her hands reached out and pulled her toy bear closer. Her tears began soaking the bear, drops after drops, soon forming a wet patch. Those happy days. She wished they would return. She wished that she could return to the past and stop time so that she could be in the happy past forever without the need to return back to the horrendous present.

However, tonight she felt rather relieved. Because tonight there are no evil demons coming for her. Tonight, she could sleep well. But, what's the use of sleeping well for just a night when history will repeat itself after tonight? It's still the same. Nothing has changed. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't. Using the back of her hand to wipe away her remaining tears, she held it up. The room was dark so she couldn't see anything much but she could clearly see the outline of her hand. The constantly flashing lightning helped too. When it lit the world up and groaned in a terrible sound, her hand flashed white.

When that moment comes, she could clearly see her hand. Of course she could also see the things she didn't want to see and will be reminded of it. Urshu had purposely tied the curtains back so that more light could shine through. However by doing so, she could also see something else but that didn't have much effect on her compared to the others.

Her gaze swept over her entire arm. Her hand was free from it but from her wrist onward, bruises and red welts were visible when the lightning struck. "Oh, where did all these came from? How did I get those?" She was afraid she would remember but somehow, she couldn't. It's like she had drunk something to wipe off those memories. "I can't...remember. Why can't I remember? Maybe it's because I had a terrible fall." She concluded and finally, she felt happy. "Since I can't remember anything, then I'll have a good night's sleep!"

She rolled about in happiness. Her long brown hair was scattered all over her pillow as she turned. She squeezed her eyes shut and hugged her toy bear closer, drifting further and further into sleep. But...still, it would be better if you're here.

Don't be afraid. I'll always be here for you. Look, I'll always be here in this attic. If you need company, you're always welcomed here.

That's right. This was Freya's room but why isn't she here yet even though it was already this late? Why...? Where have you gone? "I know you're here right now! I can sense your presence but why won't you come see me?" She murmured softly while gradually losing consciousness.聽

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August 14, 1963

6.00 a.m.