Out of the Darkness

Chapter Fourteen

"I do, but it doesn't impact me at all," he said, taking a sip. "The human vices, smoking, drinking, and drugs? They don't react with my enhanced physiology. I've never been drunk, really. I mean, I'd have to drink about forty bottles of Jack Daniels for me to be buzzed."

"Um, wow," I snorted. "And you know this how?"

"Because during my bitter days, just prior to meeting you, I would go drinking. A lot," he deadpanned. "Yeah, very bitter. I felt cursed about being on this world, watching people annihilate each other, belittle, demean and make their lives awful for almost seventy years. Part of it is due to the lingering evil with what happened during World War II. It's only escalated with Lucifer's reappearance."

"Why would he come back?" I asked.

"Because he wants you. I don't know why. Alice doesn't know why," Edward growled. "You're apparently powerful. Very, very powerful."

"I'm not. I'm weak," I frowned. Edward growled, moving and placing me in his lap, his large hands cupping my face. "I am, Edward."

"You are not even remotely weak. You are the strongest person I know," he said, his thumbs caressing my cheeks. "Don't put yourself down. Please?" He moved forward, kissing me so sweetly that my heart jumped out of my chest. I responded to his kiss, threading my hands into his hair and reveling in the softness of his thick tresses. We broke apart, breathing heavily. His forehead was pressed against mine. "You are strong, beautiful, and powerful, pretty Bella." He stared into my eyes, his brow arched. "I know what you're thinking and don't."

"I'm trying," I whispered.

"Now, let's enjoy some dinner," he said, keeping me in his lap. We shared our meals and Edward was very sweet and sensual as he fed me.

"I can feed myself. I've been doing it for years," I giggled.

"I want to take care of you, Bella," he murmured, holding up an asparagus spear. He took a bite, his eyes darkening. He offered it to me, and I finished the asparagus, nipping at his fingers. I felt a low rumbling growl emanating from his belly and his arousal growing against my thigh. It should have terrified me, but it made me quiver with need, which was something I never experienced. I was used to being abused and hurt, not feeling sexually aroused. My fear ran through me and I shot up off Edward's lap. He furrowed his brows as I scurried away, locking myself in the bathroom.

A few moments later and some deep breathing exercises, I went back to the dining room. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I ..."

"I know, Bella," Edward said, taking my hand. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

"It wasn't you, Edward," I sighed. "It was me. I felt something I never experienced ..." Arousal. I blushed, looking up at him. His face softened and he kissed my forehead. "You have to understand why I freaked out."

"I get it, Bella," he said. "You never?"

"No," I blushed. "My sexual history was violent and I had no desire to be touched that way. I think that when I was being ... um, attacked ... I may have ..."

"Bella," he choked out. "I wish I could take those memories away and show you how a man should touch a woman. It should be out of reverence, love, desire. Not anger, control or malice." He stood up, hugging me tightly and wrapping me in his arms and wings. I pressed my cheek against his soft shirt, hearing the steady thrum of his heart. There was a warmth against the back of my head. Edward sighed angrily, removing his hand.

"What did you do?" I asked.

"I tried to take those memories away," he pouted, leaning his cheek against the crown of my head. "It didn't work."