Theres Something Different About Them Two...

Chapter 20 - Help

Chapter 20 – Help

Josh’s POV

It’s funny, when someone dies the hated you had for them is gone and the feelings you had for them before the hated engulfed your head, you just feel the love and the good times you once had together. You start to mourn for the person you have lost and mourn for the person that you lost along the way of growing up.

All the struggles and hard times of life change people, sometimes for the good and other times the bad. Matt got bad after all the stuff that had happened to him, but me and jess hasn’t gotten bad but at the same time we weren’t all good. I guess in a way matt took most of the struggles of life on his shoulders and protected us which in the end turned him into something I never want to see again, making myself and jess have nothing but pure hatred towards him.

But as my only brother lied there dying from several gunshot wounds all I wanted to do was hold his lifeless body in my arms, tell him I forgive him for all the horrible things he had done to me, I wanted to tell him that he can let go now, that me and jess would be fine that he didn’t need to protect us. But I couldn’t because even though I knew matt was trying to protect us in his unusual way. He in fact didn’t, he made us fear everything and everyone and he beat his own siblings for unknown reasons, in the end making our lives hell. Jess was beaten down to nothing and the happiness she once had was now gone, all that I saw in her eyes was a little girl, lost and frightened looking for someone, anyone to help her.

I didn’t know how or why my life had gone the way it had but I needed to step up and take control of this family and try my best to fix the broken pieces that once held us together. Jess was sobbing in the corner of the room, the guy who had minutes ago had a knife heading towards him was cradling her in his arms, while holding his stomach as blood poured from the open wound. Mom was on the floor sitting next to matt’s body her shaking hand holding the gun that had just killed her oldest son, Tears running down her face as she entered the state of shock that she was so used to.

I have never taken control of anything before and all I could think of was to call Paige she would know what to do, she was the only person I knew that actually had control of her own life and had control over her own mind. I was in no mind set to start to fix this family I had just seen my mother kill my brother, I didn’t even know where I would start to fix this family I just needed help, a lot of help.