Theres Something Different About Them Two...

Chapter 12 - Confident

Chapter 12 – Confident

Jessica’s POV

It’s been two days since I last saw matt, he hasn’t come back home after his last outburst, that left me with yet another bruise to add to my many. I’ve been ignoring Justin’s chat messages and Skype calls. I just feel like I want to detach myself from the world, from everyone. My feelings are not “normal” I feel like a lost soul trying to find my happiness in a dark forest, but I’m just stuck at the moment and I feel like I’m never going to get out. My heart is heavy, it ache’s for the people I’ve lost from my poisoned life. 

I haven’t spoken to any of my friends for what seems like forever, I feel like I can’t, the voices in my head tell me that even if I made an attempt to reach out and connect with them, they would just reject me. The fear of being rejected by people I love kills me, which makes the voices or demons as I call them louder and more powerful.

After matt had hit me I just lay on my bed shaking, not just out of fear but the fact that the house was freezing… always is. Mom was in her room like always staring blankly at nothing like she had seen a ghost. Josh is at Paige’s house with her family which I didn’t blame him. When he was at home matt would argue with him, he would hit him but never like he would hit me…. I guess he knew josh wouldn’t take a beating from him like I would. I was weak, broken and lost.

So for the last 48 hours I have just been lying on my bed in my own world, only being pulled back to realty when my Skype went off, or I heard a noise which I would fear was matt, only to be relieved when I figured it was just the trees swaying in the wind.

I was snapped back into the “real world” when my Skype went off. This time I didn’t ignore it, something inside me wanted to answer this call. I slowly swing my legs to the side of my bed and using my bruised arms, I lift myself of my blood stained bed and walked over to my desk. I opened my laptop and saw Justin’s Skype message.

CHAT

Justin – I’m coming to get you!

I stared at the screen, my heart pounding out my chest.

Replying back to Justin

Jess – No! Please... I’m okay… I was just sleeping… sorry I didn’t answer your messages! Please don’t come over… please.

I waited but no reply “SHIT” I shouted at myself “what am I going to do” I whispered under my breath.

I need to get out now…I feel so stupid… if I hadn’t ignored Justin’s message and answered them instead of zoning out I wouldn’t be in this position. Why haven’t I tied to leave I’m so stupid… I felt fear but also adrenaline was speeding through my body making me feel excited and confident to finally have the courage to make the move… I’m going to get out of this hell hole.

I grabbed my bag from under my bed and started to pack what I needed, I didn’t want to pack too much. Making my get away I didn’t want to me weighed down.

After I packed my bag I changed from my blood stained clothes into black skinny jeans, navy blue boots, and an over sized grey jumper. I swung my bag over my shoulder and slowly opened my door, as I took small steps I turned to go into my mother’s room. I opened her door to see her lying lifeless on her bed, I rushed over to her, my heart beating fast as thoughts rushed around my mind.

I went up to her and checked her pulse… I thanked god as I could feel a faint pulse… I looked over to see she had taken a few of her sleeping tablets. My heart went back to beating its normal rhythm. My mom has always taken sleeping tablets. On many occasions I’ve had the same thoughts that she was dead, but thankfully no just knocked out. I smiled at her peaceful body, covering her with a thick blanket. I kissed her forehead “see you soon... I love you” I say while making my way out her room.

I walked out of her room closing the door behind me. I walked down the cold, plain and unwelcoming hallway, until I reached the stairs and started making my way down the wooden steps, each making a squeaking sound, making my face cringe up with every step. Finally getting to the bottom of the stairs I turned my head making sure no one was in the living room. Making my way through the living room and into the kitchen I grabbed some tin’s of food and a few bottles of water that where lying in the fridge, which by the way wasn’t even working but you didn’t need a working fridge in this house, the whole house felt like a fridge anyway…always cold…

After putting all the stuff I needed into my bag I started walking out of the kitchen, heading towards the front door I remembered I should get a weapon just in case. I ran into the kitchen once again and pulled open the draw to see a gun lying there, for a second I went into shock, all this time Matt had a GUN in the kitchen draw. He could have killed me, josh or even mom… I shuck my head trying to get rid of the thoughts going through my head. I grabbed the gun putting it in my back pocket of my jeans.

I laughed at myself realizing I must look like a bad ass with a gun in my jeans pocket... “Okay jess to much confidence”... A voice in my head said. “I must be going mad” I say out loud to myself. I also grab a few knifes and put them into the side pocket of my bag. I take a deep breath before taking my first step heading out the kitchen and towards the front door.

*Hope you all like this chapter. I will update on Sunday. Hope you all have a great Christmas.*